Around the World and Back Again

I find it difficult to believe that it's already been over a week since I have been back in New Zealand. The last few weeks have literally been a whirlwind of craziness that has left my head screaming for everything to just stop so I can catch up. The last week in Canada was no exception.

After spending a bit of time in Invermere to do the Jumbo Pass trail with my dad, we headed back to the city only for me to continue my onslaught of scheduled activities with various people around the city. There was the dinner night with my Grandma to which we made our own mango chicken dish and then proceeded to watch a marathon of Mantracker shows before calling it a night.

My grandma, Danielle, me & Mom

The following day I had lunch with an old friend and then due to another friend cancelling our evening plans, I managed to have a bit of a breather before the next day loomed ahead. Meeting another friend for lunch, I proceeded to meet up with my mom where we caught up on the going ons of our week before heading off to get photos done with my sister and Grandma. It was a blast to just be hanging out and giggling the afternoon away while a photographer captured the moment. Something I am sure we will all treasure for the rest of our lives.

That night my sister and I slept over at my mom's house as the following morning we had plans to be at C.O.P. We had scheduled ourselves in for their summer package deal - Ziplining and Bobsledding for a mere $99 each. Perfect. An air of excitement hung around us as we waited for things to get going. And then while we strapped ourselves in our harnesses and helmets. And then while we drove to the top of C.O.P. before piling in the elevator that took us to the top of the massive ski jump used in the '89 Winter Olympics. As the ski jump is no longer in use, C.O.P. has used the opportunity to modify the jump into an incredible ziplining course.

I was stoked.

The instructors took a few minutes to explain the basics and then asked who wanted to go first - Danielle and I jumped at the opportunity and confidently clambered down the see-through stairs to where we would get harnessed to the zipline rope. Though I've ziplined before, there was something still so exhilarating about the knowledge that I would be hurtling down a rope hung high above the world below before coming to a stop at the bottom, all the while hoping like mad that nothing incredibly horrific would happen. It didn't. Danielle and I flew do the bottom with smiles plastered on our faces before disembarking and waiting for our mom.

Then came the bobsled. This was something I had always wanted to try since I knew you could and upon talking to my aunt about it, apparently so did my Great Grandmother. Due to the age of my Great Grandmother at the time, C.O.P. refused her to be allowed to try the adrenaline sport and so she passed away without getting to cross it off her bucket list. I figured perhaps my run of the bobsled could be part tribute to my Great Grandmother.

As nice as that sounds, the actual ride of the bobsled was entirely different from anything I really had expected. As we were going during the summer, there was no ice on the route and so we were riding in a sled with wheels. And because we were all amateurs, we were told to sit in the sled while the "driver" would give us a push before jumping in to steer the course in order to hopefully eliminate the chance of us flying around the corner and off the entire run itself.

We were told to hold onto the bars by our sides, lock our elbows and shrug our shoulders to support our heads and prevent them from being knocked about inside the vessel. Right. Once we picked up speed, there was no stopping me from being a manic bobble-head once sees strapped to the dashboard of a vehicle. Beings that I was a the front, I was hoping I'd get a chance to see what was coming for us, but I ended up being too busy just trying to keep my head from falling off.

By the end of our run (1min, 19sec) - my head, neck and shoulders hurt. But it was awesome. I haven't a clue how they call bobsledding a sport and probably won't ever volunteer to do it again - but it was well worth it.

Janelle & me

From C.O.P. it was a mad dash to Invermere where I met up with some girls for Janelle's Bachelorette party. After a couple days of shopping, spa-going, penis games and dancing, it was time to come back. But not before meeting up with Trevor and co. in Banff for a little outdoor concert. It was perfect. Particularly when I got word from my dad that my books had arrived. I was ecstatic.

When I got back to Calgary, I ripped open the box of books only to be in awe at the fact that they were real. I had never quite registered what it would mean to hold a book in my hand that I had written myself and it was a bit surreal. But I didn't have much time to dwell on that as it was time for bed. The next two days would need all my energy.

That following day I spent madly running around town (thanks to my mom being my chauffeur) delivering my freshly printed books. I had to sell as many as possible before I left because there was no way I'd be able to ship them back to NZ without an exorbitant charge and I also needed the money to fund what I did want to post back to NZ. And so sell them I did. By the end of the day I literally had sold about 90 of the books and only had a handful left to take back to NZ. Perfect.

By the time I packed everything and stored everything and paid for post boxes and had my haircut and opened a savings account at the bank and had a quick dinner, it was time to get to the airport. I had a similar feeling to when being blindfolded and spun around and then expected to walk in a straight line afterwards. My mind was a blur and I only hoped I would stay awake long enough to board the correct plane.

Trevor, Mom, Lori, me & Danielle in Banff

After a layover and plane switch in Vancouver and 15.5hrs later, I had made it to Sydney. But with a 10hr layover there, it would be a while until I'd get to Christchurch and eventually Hanmer Springs. With the spare time, I picked up the very popular Fifty Shades of Grey book from the bookstore and read it start to finish right there in the airport. I was not impressed. I haven't a clue why everyone is so excited about the book and definitely do not recommend it to anyone. It in no way got my "blood pumping." Instead, I had trouble staying awake to finish it. Bummer.

Eventually I found my way to a bed in Christchurch and then met up with Kelly the next morning to do some much-needed grocery shopping before heading back to Hanmer Springs. It felt good to be back.

And now that it's been over a week, it is as though not much has changed. I am still waiting for my post boxes from Canada in the mail, though I have managed to hang a few photos on my sparse walls. It has been both difficult and easy to get back into the swing of things and it really does feel like home.

Take Various Vitamins

Take various vitamins. You never know what small mineral can eliminate the bottleneck to everlasting health.

~ Lululemon

There is something that is so sweet and pure about being able to shut out the world and seek comfort within one's one bubble of existence. Only thing is - I have forgotten how hard it is to do such a task when within a city of over a million people. So many sounds. So many smells. So many people - everywhere I go. Everything feels crowded and closing in. Covered in cement, this concrete city overwhelms me at every point I turn. And there is no escape - no quick getaway. 

Danielle and I in a photobooth

I did get away a few days ago - to head to Invermere with my Dad. It was absolutely brilliant to be amongst the mountains again - breathe the fresh air. But even Invermere was busy for a Sunday night. People had flocked there from Fairmont after the recent mudslide incident. Golfers checking into the hotel with dried mud on their pant legs. Everyone buzzy with excitement over their experience and near-miss in the nearby mountain village. Perfect.

It was perfect when we got to the base of Jumbo Pass for our hike the next day. Not a soul to be seen except for each other. This pass was something I had envisioned taking my dad on since I walked across BC three years ago and sat atop of the world overlooking the wilderness all around. And now it was time. Coming full circle, I was able to show my dad a bit of what it was that I did those years ago when I solo-hiked my way to Vancouver. Up the steep switchbacks. Over rocks and under fallen trees - we inched our way up the mountainside. I even managed to find a tree I had previously tied a piece of surveyor's tape to to help others find the trail as I had found myself in knee-deep snow with no sign of any other life at that point. This year it was dry, but the piece of tape still wriggled in the breeze. 

By the time we walked our way over stretches of snow that threatened to engulf us in order to reach Jumbo Hut at the top of the pass, things were looking pretty great. With a 360 degree view of all the glacier-covered mountains around, I immediately felt at home. There is something to be said about the mountains. The rich ruggedness that touches my soul in the deepest places and makes everything seem okay. But before I knew it, I had eaten my lunch and it was time for us to head back down. Down to civilization again. Down to "reality," as most would say. 

Dad & I at the top of Jumbo Pass

I had a great time climbing that pass and it only served to remind of all that Calgary is not. Yes - it is a great city. Yes - it does have a lot of parks to enjoy and things to do. And yes - it is relatively close to the mountains. But when I need to escape from it all, I find there is no where to really and truly breathe. It is concrete and people all around. I smell the car fumes. The fast food. The intensity of it all. 

For the second time since arriving in Calgary, I was able to scrounge a few hours of peace and quiet to myself and I found myself to completely enjoy every second of it. I shut the doors, turned off the phone and spent a few hours doing only what I wanted to do. Because I wanted to do it. 

And yet, I still felt trapped. Wanting to break free. Wanting to get away from it all. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. This life is not for me and I have to continue to remind myself that it is no longer my life - my life has moved on and Calgary is just simply a temporary stopover. A stopover of visits into my past of who I used to be compared to who I am now. 

I have changed since being away - but not really. At the heart of who I am, I think I am still me. I have spent many years feeling as though I haven't quite fit in - that I haven't found my place in the world yet. It hasn't been until coming back to Calgary that I truly realized that this is no longer true. I have found a place I fit - it is just unfortunate that the place I have found is so far away from those I have loved for so much of my life. And yet I am still the happiest and most content that I have ever been. And that trumps all. Even vitamins.

Grandma & I enjoying our home cooked dinner

After being away for so many years, I have noticed a drastic harshness to North American culture that I always knew was there, but never really fully understood it until now. There is this constant need to feed off the greed integrated in society that even captures those who struggle to break free. Everywhere I go there are messages being thrown at me to tell me to buy things, try things, sell things, have things, trade things and everything in between. There are only about a million different ways to get healthy and yet few of them actually understand what health means. If one eats a balanced diet - vitamins are very rarely actually needed. Those that stock up on massive quantities of vitamins in order to "get healthy" are simply spending an exorbitant amount of money on their pee. 

I went to the Calgary Stampede a while back only to run across a man selling machines one stands on and straps a thick rubber band around their waist and then turns the machine on in order to have it vibrate around their body. This is meant to make one "get into shape." Apparently there is a market for it as there was a huge number of people lined up to try it out - I'm just not sure what happened to walking the dog. 

No one has time any more. Everyone is in a rush - even my vacation has become something of a stressful schedule as everyone has been vying for a spot within my schedule - something of which I have been keeping to with military precision. I have received a few terse messages from certain people who haven't been able to get a hold of me immediately on my temporary cell phone on the occasions that I have turned it off for a bit of peace and quiet or happen to be busy doing something else. Meeting someone else. 

It's all go, go, go with no break or relief from the intensity that city life brings. Even a casual drive around the city has brought upon exasperated comments from those driving with me towards the people in front of us, behind us or even beside us that aren't manoeuvring their vehicles up to the driver's standard. I have been constantly bombarded with the frustrated voices of those appalled at the new distracted driver's law. People here are no longer allowed to use their cell phone while driving - apparently some people find this to be annoying. I'd rather not die at the hand of someone texting while driving. 

City life is different and yet so much the same as what I remember. And it leaves me wanting to get away. There is so much that I have done while being here - so much I will do prior to leaving on my plane back to New Zealand - that I am grateful I had the opportunity to come. I have had a brilliant time catching up with so many people I have only been able to Skype for the past few years. But I also know that soon I will be back to my little place in the world and that thought sounds pretty good to me.