so..... whomever hasnt read a million little pieces by james frey...................... ur missing out. its a freakin amazing book and i dont care what oprah has to say bout it. anyWHO - thought id share a little taste......
... i look around me. there is blackness, there is alcohol, there are drugs. there is an abundance of all of them. i know im alone and there is no one to stop me. i know i can do as much as i want of whatever i want. as i reach for one of the bottles, something inside of me tells me to stop, that what im doing is wrong, that i cant do it anymore, that im killing myself. i reach anyway. i grip the bottle, bring it to my lips and take a long deep draw that burns my mouth, my throat and my stomach.
for the briefest instant i feel complete. the pain i carry with me disappears. i feel good. goddamn it, i feel fucking good.
the feelings are gone as quickly as they came and i want them back. i dont care what i have to do, what i have to take, what i have to endure, ill do anything. i just want them to come back.
i take another drink. it doesnt work. i grab a different bottle, take a larger drink. it doesnt work. i seize bottle after bottle, take drink after drink, nothing works. instead of feeling better, i feel increasingly worse. everything i felt that was good has become bad and it has been magnified beyond any point of reference or comprehension. my only option is to try and kill. kill what hurts. kill it....
... its gone as fast as it came and i know its gone for good, replaced by fear, dread and a murderous rage. any pretense of experiencing pleasure disappears. i grab rocks, stuff the pipe, hit. i grab rocks, stuff the pipe, hit. the torch is white and the glass is pink and i feel the skin of my fingers bubbling but it doesnt bother me. i grab rocks, stuff the pipe, hit. i do it until the bag is empty and then i stuff the bag into the pipe and i smoke the plastic. i have a murderous rage and i need to kill. kill my heart, kill my mind, kill myself....
freakin read the book if u havent................ that is all i have to say. :D
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