Dreams Do Come True

I truly believe that anything is possible in life. Dreams do come true. Our deepest desires of life ambitions are something that could be one day. Provided you have the tools and support there to make it happen. I have the privilege of being that very support for people in the job I do. Not only do I get to help people realize their dreams, but I also get to be there to help them plan how they are going to achieve those very special life goals. 

The best part this last week was being able to go to a national gathering of all Outcomes Facilitators in New Zealand where we spent two days discussing how we could better support people to help achieve their goals. To be in a room with people who didn't just think that any dream was achievable, but that any person (no matter their disability) could achieve it -- was inspiring, to say the least. 

It has only been in this last week that I have been able to reflect on my life and the opportunities presented to me as this past month has been one large whirlwind of cramming as much new information in my head as humanly possible. It is just now that the dust has started to settle and I can start to breath again with confidence that I know which direction I am headed in. Or at least until the next challenge needs to be faced. 

One of the challenges I know will come in my near future is my volunteer position with Red Cross Refugee Services. This past month has been many meetings with other volunteers to train on the skills and information needed to work with refugees and not feel completely overwhelmed. Some of us still feel overwhelmed with the task, but at least we have a better idea of what we will be facing. 

For the next six months, us volunteers will be divided into teams and each team will be assigned a refugee family to help settle into life in Wellington. Things that we generally take for granted - how to keep warm in the winter, how to take transit, what an EFTPOS/Debit card does, or even just how to speak in English to get what we want - will generally be a huge challenge for many of the refugees relocating to New Zealand. Again, it is an incredible privilege to be part of this process - to be part of someone's life as it is changing so dramatically - to be part of the process in helping someone create a place they can call home. 

So much of the training for Refugee Services left me feeling amazed at the process that most of these individuals go through. There is so much loss in many of these peoples lives and yet for them to reach the point of being accepted as refugees to a new country, they have already become survivors. Given that the average time spent at any refugee camp waiting for the call to say they have been accepted to a new country is a whole 17 years, it truly is the strong at heart that make it. 

While every refugee's story is different and their anguish personal, they all share a common thread of uncommon courage: the courage not only to survive, but to persevere and rebuild their shattered lives. (Antonio Guterres)

Anyway, back to my life - work is good. Friends are good. The weather is good (though I'm told "winter" is here... I'm still walking around most days with no coat). And I still wait on Residency. The last of my paperwork has gone through and now it's just crossing my fingers in hope that everything I passed on will give me the go ahead for Residency Status. The waiting is hard, but at least I know I am finally starting to feel a bit more settled here in Wellington regardless. Now if I could just get the neighbourhood cat  to stop sneaking into my house when I'm not around..... 

Waiting for the Ball to Drop

It's taken me the entire weekend to finally be able to take a breather and wrap my head around all that has happened this week. Not a lot when has happened when I get down to it, but I've definitely felt everything kick into gear as I have started my new job this week.

All of a sudden the pressure has been on for me to be somewhere at some place at some time. Regardless of the weather, my mental state or how much money I have in my pocket - it's all just a matter of getting it done and though I am thrilled at my new job and everything I get to learn, there is a part of me that is sad to know that my freedom to do what I want when I want is slipping away. Particularly when it is pouring down with rain and I have to walk in it only to get to where I am going and have it stop.

Each day that goes past I am torn between jumping in with both feet and reminding myself that I still do not know what my future holds. Each day that goes by is a brilliant gift where I am allowed to stay here in New Zealand, but it only serves to increase my worry of what tomorrow might bring. For at the end of all my effort to make my life into everything I have ever dreamed it to be, Immigration holds the power to decide if I can continue on this journey or if I must start a new one.

There's something to be said about living each day as though it is your last, but there are aspects of that that are incredibly exhausting on the nerves. It becomes difficult to plan ahead - difficult to know if I should buy the bigger box of tea bags or if it will all be a waste of my time, money and effort should I have to leave it all behind. All I can do is hope that I hear a final answer soon. Tomorrow would be good. Yesterday would have been better.

In the meantime, I continue to try and push forward and plan for my future just the same. My Etsy store online - Paper Kite Creations - is coming along well and I even had my first sale this week (thanks Janelle!). Though my hours are now more limited for creating projects, I am still finding inspiration for new designs that I am excited about being able to create when I do have time.

Time keeps on ticking and one day blends into the next - at least my cats continue to find new ways to entertain themselves.

Back to the Bare Essentials

This week has been one of reassessment on my part in a few areas of my life. I have been excitedly preparing for when I start my new job this Monday and through it, I have managed to reassess my budget based upon what I will be making. Seems simple enough, but this project of mine turned into one of frantically counting pennies to work out something I could actually live with -- wish I could justify living without electricity, but the thought of cold showers and cooking over an open fire didn't seem doable in the long term.

Most of this came through the realization and decision that my new job being part-time hours is a brilliant opportunity for me to seriously pursue my art as a form of income. Completely terrifying, but somehow I am at peace with it. As a result, my  budget is only half of what I could be making right now because I am starting from complete and total scratch with my art. Because of this decision, my budget became a series of negotiations with myself this week, wriggling the last $5 around to find somewhere I could justify would be the best use for it.

And the funny thing was that once I was done and able to put my pencil down, I realized that by scrounging and skimping on everything in my life, I am forcing myself to live a lifestyle where I get more exercise by limiting my bus route. I eat healthier as I simply can't afford to go out for dinner nor buy the package of chips or chocolate that's on sale as a "treat." I also fulfil my life through a variety of DIY methods whether it's mending my own clothes, reusing toilet paper roles or making my own bread. Funny that life's "luxury's" are the very thing that keep us from living a healthy lifestyle. We'll see if I still feel the same way in a few months.

In the meantime, I now fill my days trying to do as much as I can with nothing. The internet becomes my friend as I have since learned new recipes and how many families (yes, families with kids and stuff) live on less than $40/week with their groceries. I wonder if I could do it with $20. As the months get cooler here, the layers start to pile on indoors until I start to look ridiculous as I avoid using my electric heater, but now I figure maybe I should just turn on the oven and bake another loaf of bread instead.

In all my reflection - I've managed to summarize what I hope to do with a few rules to live by:

- Only eat when I am hungry . In the past couple of months I have been trying to do this and I have been amazed at how often I go to grab something to eat when I am not hungry and how many other reasons I have in my head to eat something. The reality is, food is for nurishment and if my body isn't actually hungry, I am just wasting my money.
- If I don't need it, don't buy it . Again, just started doing this and it has really helped to clarify things no matter where it is that I am at, particularly when it comes to those hard-to-resist sale items. It has also helped to write a list of whatever it is I actually intend to buy before I go out - if it's not on the list, I obviously don't actually need to buy it.
- If I can recycle it, I can probably reuse it . I have been finding more and more ways to reuse everything that I generally put in my recycling bag - most of it helping with storage around the house (tin cans, plastic containers), but I've also discovered how I can create things to brighten up the house out of what I'd normally be throwing in the bin.
- Dress for the weather and walk there . With a bus stop right outside my house it is SOOOOOOOO easy sometimes to get a ride to where I want to go. The reality is - my legs work pretty good at getting me where I need to go, so more often than not I need to just quit whining about it and save a few bucks by walking to where I need to go.
- If it isn't dirty don't wash it . Primarily this is referring to laundry. It's so easy to just dump the clothes I've worn for one day into the laundry basket, but the last time I did laundry I had a thought as to how many clothes in that load were ACTUALLY dirty. I'd say 99.9% of them were not. It's not like I need to wear clothes for months on end as I did walking Te Araroa Trail, but every load of laundry I can skip is money saved through electricity and water.

It should be an interesting couple of months, but I am hoping it will ease up a bit as a result of my art gaining momentum. Fingers are crossed.