"the brave things in the old tales and songs, mr. frodo: adventures as i used to call them. i used to think that they were things that the wonderful folk of the stories went out and looked for, because they wanted them, because they were exciting and life was a bit dull, a kind of a sport, as you might say. but thats not the way of it with the tales that really mattered, or the ones that stay in the mind. folks seem to have just landed in them, usually - their paths were laid that way, as you put it. but i expect hey had lots of chances, like us, of turning back, only they didnt. and if they had, we shouldnt know, because theyd have been forgotten. we hear about those as just went on - and not all to a good end mind you; at least not what folk inside a story and not outside it call a good end. you know, coming home and finding things all right, though not quite the same. but those arent always the best tales to hear, though they might be the best tales to get landed in! i wonder what sort of tale weve fallen into?" (the two towers, p. 931-32).
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as i sit here in the cramped and stuffy computer room of the hostel, squirming under the uncomfortable stare of the guy near me i contemplate the going-ons of the past few days. i dont know why it is so difficult for me to change my attitude regarding those who are at the hostel and maybe it is just because i have my "end date" in sight (only 4 more sleeps to go untill i move out), but i find my irritant level steadily increasing. there is no place for "me" time. my head feels like it is going to explode due to the lack of solitude that can be found here at the hostel. and it isnt as though the people around me are bad people by any means and yet i constantly find i have to keep myself in check as i continuously become ticked off and judgemental of those around me (particularly my hostel roommates) though nothing has happened. like the other day - for instance.
i had spent the entire day "by myself" (it wasnt technically a TRUE alone day as there were people constantly around me) and the minute i became confronted by the presence of my roommates i felt my stomache get all knotted up inside. i wanted to scream, punch something and break down in tears because i was surrounded by people that, in that moment, i felt were too annoying for words to describe.
the truth of the matter is - my hostel roommates werent and still arent annoying. theyre actually quite fabulous people. at the time this all occurred there was jen who just graduated from university with an art degree and is from edmonton, canada. we hit if off right away beings that we had so much in common coming from canada and being into art. unfortuantely she was only able to stay for a few days and has since left to go back to canada. then theres camilla whos from england and will be sticking around for a while. ironically enough we met prior to her checking into the hostel as i had been at work one day when camilla came in looking for cheap accommodation. i gave her directions to my hostel and the next day i woke up to find her sleeping in the next bunk! as it is, she is a total sweetheart and also loves to play beach volleyball - we intend to hit up the sands here with our skills asap! finally, there was (and still is) a french girl (yes, another french person) who is staying in the room and seems nice and everything, but generally keeps to herself and whatnot.
so - like i said - i havent a clue why i get so peeved when i have to interact with them after being separated for so long (and not long at all most times)... other than more and more i feel as though my time is done (and needs to be done) at the hostel here. i am SOOO ready to move on. i am so ready to have my own space where i can shut the door and truely relax at the fact that no one else has a right to that space at all. but for the time being i really need to work on not faulting everyone else because of my own personal want for my own space.
outside of that, my hours have changed at work so that not only do i now have more hours, but i also am working 5 days instead of 4. my boss is also teaching me on how to open and close the juice bar so that i can start picking up better shifts and allows me the flexibility to work whenever. even still, cramming all the learning (though its not rocket science) has been making me tired untill the end of the day. fortunately i made use of the last day i had off and spent it hanging out with anika.
this past monday we met up, and though it was raining and incredibly windy we decided to walk down to the main strip of bondi and grab some breaky. stomaches full, we hopped on the bus to go to the ART GALLERY of NEW SOUTH WALES. we were pleasantly surprised to find that it was actually free to get in. i had never been to a gallery that was free and it was incredibly refreshing to think that this gallery valued people being educated by art so much that no price could be put on allowing people to access it. we happily wandered around, gazing at all the incredibly works of art - some making us stop and stare at awe in, some making us reminise of past times, some making us laugh out loud.
after the art gallery we figured some ice cream was in order. we went on the hunt, wind blowing, rain falling - we eventually found it. at the lindt restaurant. i never even knew there was such a thing and so we HAD to try it. the ice cream was heaven and we thouroughly enjoyed each of the 3 decadent flavours. afterwards, we stepped back into the world of stormy weather and made our next hunt for the proper bus to get back to the eastern suburbs as we were in the heart of the city at that point.
the thing about the sydney transit system - though you can get anywhere you wish with it - whether by bus, train or ferry - when it comes to the bus system it is very vague as to what the system actually is. as many buses travel through many zones in the city (theoretically - the more zones you want to travel through at one period of time, it should cost you more) - there is no clear procedure on how to stamp your ticket. by this i mean that most people buy the 10-ride passes that states you can have 10 rides on the bus without expiration of the ticket over time. some have said that one needs to stamp (you have to put your ticket through this green box that stamps it, indicating your ticket is valid and that, yes, you have used up another bus ride) it multiple times for multiple zones crossed, where as others just say you need to stamp it once as you are only going on one bus. i havent a clue.
but before we even got to this confusing point - anika and i had to first FIND the right bus. the bus stops didnt really list ALL of the buses that were to stop at the stops we were standing at. there were about 5-6 stops all in a row along the one side of the block we were standing out... spread out from one end to the other in a string of yellow signs indicating the buses stopped there. but which ones - we did not know. we DID know... or "think" at that time that our bus should be stopping at that place - but we couldnt figure out where abouts. so we ran up and down that block frantically searching for the right area to stand. we couldnt find it and about 2-3 of our buses zipped on past, each time we missed the actual part in which they stopped so we werent 100% sure if they HAD, in fact, stopped. it never occurred to us to actually ask someone untill we started backtracking the route we thought the bus went and got about 2 blocks down and confirmed where our bus should stop. the lady we asked this to simply looked at us like we were some idiots from another planet to be asking such an "obsurd" question... but she apparently did not realize that without any postings of where our bus ACTUALLY stopped - there was no way of knowing. unless, of course, you knew.
finally getting on the bus, we eventually hopped off near anika's uncle's place (where she is house sitting for the next month or so) to pick up some movie rentals and munchies for our movie marathon. we then cozied up in front of the tv and spent the rest of the nice binge eating on everything we could get our hands on. anika's uncle's 3 legged cat simply sat there and stared at us. we didnt care. it was a good night....
what is done is done
okay - i should have worked out all the glitches here. as it stands i am as finished as i can be with my updated blogsite look. for those who read this via my facebook notes or from an email subscription - the following will most likely not apply to you. but for those who frequent my original blogsite - here is all the information you will need to know on how it is now set up.
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on the far left column there is the following:
1. SEARCH BAR. this can be used should you wish to search any of the blog entries within my blog. for example, if you are looking for the blogs related to my trip to new york - you would simply type in: 'new york' into the search bar, hit 'enter' and all the blogs that relate to new york will come up. this prevents the ordeal of having to manually click through each of the former blogs to find the one you are wishing to read.
2. PHOTO ALBUMS. as before, these are all the links to my photo albums as posted on facebook (if you read this through my facebook notes, this information is irrelavent to you as you already have access to them). all the photo album links posted are in relation to my journey throughout the world as started on july 1, 2009.
3. RECENT POSTS. this is a new function i have added to highlight the 5 newest posts to my blog. this way, if you happened to have missed a blog entry or wish to skip back a blog entry or 2, they are all posted there with a short summary for your convenience.
4. ARCHIVE. again - as before - this section is listed for your convenience should you want to look back over the history of what has been written. i have edited it slightly so that it no longer shows the blog entry titles, as the most recent ones are now posted above this section - i figured it was not needed. now you may access a portion of the archive by month or year. enjoy!
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for the middle section, this is clearly the area in which my actual blog entry will lay. however, you may notice that about the blog entry there are the following links:
1. HOME. this link will always direct you back to the main blogsite
2. ABOUT. this link will take you to a separate page in which i have given a brief description on my blogsite as well as my email contact information should you wish to contact me.
3. TRAVEL MAP. this will take you to a separate page in which i have posted my on-going travel map according to my journey that began on july 1, 2009.
4. NEW POST. this is only accessible for me in order to quickly allow me to write a new blog entry.
5. CUSTOMIZE. this, again, is only accessible for me in order to modify, update or otherwise edit the blogsite to make it even better.
6. SIGN IN. this is if you have a google account and wish to be able to sign in.
with the blog, you are still able to post comments to each entry, whether or not you have any sort of google account. you may also click on the link at the bottom of each entry in order to forward that blog to anyone you wish via email.
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on the right hand colomn, you will notice the following functions:
1. PHOTO. yes - this is me. what a lovely picture.
2. FOLLOWERS. this is the section in relation to who is following my blog that has a google account. if you have a google account and become a follower - my blog updates are notified on your account for you to check out.
3. SUBSCRIBE VIA EMAIL. again - this is for if you wish to have my blog sent to your email address to avoid having to reguarly check in and see if i have posted anything.
4. SITEMETER. this little button is simply tracking how many visitors my blogsite has. the more visitors, the better it is should i ever try to develop this thing into a book or whatnot.
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i hope this helps out and that everything works smoothly for everyone that is following my blog. please comment on this post should anything need to be changed further, if you have any questions or you just simply want to comment....... other than that - cheers! (again).
****
on the far left column there is the following:
1. SEARCH BAR. this can be used should you wish to search any of the blog entries within my blog. for example, if you are looking for the blogs related to my trip to new york - you would simply type in: 'new york' into the search bar, hit 'enter' and all the blogs that relate to new york will come up. this prevents the ordeal of having to manually click through each of the former blogs to find the one you are wishing to read.
2. PHOTO ALBUMS. as before, these are all the links to my photo albums as posted on facebook (if you read this through my facebook notes, this information is irrelavent to you as you already have access to them). all the photo album links posted are in relation to my journey throughout the world as started on july 1, 2009.
3. RECENT POSTS. this is a new function i have added to highlight the 5 newest posts to my blog. this way, if you happened to have missed a blog entry or wish to skip back a blog entry or 2, they are all posted there with a short summary for your convenience.
4. ARCHIVE. again - as before - this section is listed for your convenience should you want to look back over the history of what has been written. i have edited it slightly so that it no longer shows the blog entry titles, as the most recent ones are now posted above this section - i figured it was not needed. now you may access a portion of the archive by month or year. enjoy!
****
for the middle section, this is clearly the area in which my actual blog entry will lay. however, you may notice that about the blog entry there are the following links:
1. HOME. this link will always direct you back to the main blogsite
2. ABOUT. this link will take you to a separate page in which i have given a brief description on my blogsite as well as my email contact information should you wish to contact me.
3. TRAVEL MAP. this will take you to a separate page in which i have posted my on-going travel map according to my journey that began on july 1, 2009.
4. NEW POST. this is only accessible for me in order to quickly allow me to write a new blog entry.
5. CUSTOMIZE. this, again, is only accessible for me in order to modify, update or otherwise edit the blogsite to make it even better.
6. SIGN IN. this is if you have a google account and wish to be able to sign in.
with the blog, you are still able to post comments to each entry, whether or not you have any sort of google account. you may also click on the link at the bottom of each entry in order to forward that blog to anyone you wish via email.
****
on the right hand colomn, you will notice the following functions:
1. PHOTO. yes - this is me. what a lovely picture.
2. FOLLOWERS. this is the section in relation to who is following my blog that has a google account. if you have a google account and become a follower - my blog updates are notified on your account for you to check out.
3. SUBSCRIBE VIA EMAIL. again - this is for if you wish to have my blog sent to your email address to avoid having to reguarly check in and see if i have posted anything.
4. SITEMETER. this little button is simply tracking how many visitors my blogsite has. the more visitors, the better it is should i ever try to develop this thing into a book or whatnot.
****
i hope this helps out and that everything works smoothly for everyone that is following my blog. please comment on this post should anything need to be changed further, if you have any questions or you just simply want to comment....... other than that - cheers! (again).
change is good
as some may have noticed - i have recently changed the look of my blog. it is new. it is different. it is change. i felt the need to do something - dont ask why as i am now caught up with trying to fix all the glitches associated with developing a new artful look to my blogsite. so i ask you - please bare with me as i make a few needed minor changes in the next while.
in the meantime, you will find that the majority of my blogsite is the same. there is still the links to my photo albums. one can search through the archive. anyone is able to comment on my posts. you are still able to subscribe to my blog so that it gets sent to your email inbox.
but there are also a few new things too. i have added a "followers" box for those who already have google accounts and wish to follow my blog entries in that regard. you are now able to forward my blog entries to people you via an email link at the bottom of each blog entry. there are now mini summaries to the left of my blog in which one can have a peak at the most recent of my postings.
as i have said though - there are still a few glitches that need to be worked out. so please be patient and if there is any annoying aspect of my new blogsite that you feel i may have overlooked, please write your concerns in a comment at the end of this blog. i will do my best to fix everything as quickly as possible and parhaps discover a few new things to add... but as it is - i thank everyone for their support and interest in what i have written so far in my blog - cheers!!
in the meantime, you will find that the majority of my blogsite is the same. there is still the links to my photo albums. one can search through the archive. anyone is able to comment on my posts. you are still able to subscribe to my blog so that it gets sent to your email inbox.
but there are also a few new things too. i have added a "followers" box for those who already have google accounts and wish to follow my blog entries in that regard. you are now able to forward my blog entries to people you via an email link at the bottom of each blog entry. there are now mini summaries to the left of my blog in which one can have a peak at the most recent of my postings.
as i have said though - there are still a few glitches that need to be worked out. so please be patient and if there is any annoying aspect of my new blogsite that you feel i may have overlooked, please write your concerns in a comment at the end of this blog. i will do my best to fix everything as quickly as possible and parhaps discover a few new things to add... but as it is - i thank everyone for their support and interest in what i have written so far in my blog - cheers!!
nothing to say
10/21/09 . i am trapped. i sit here on my top bunk wearing only a bathing suit and shirt and i am cold. the fan is going and a breeze is coming in from the window. and all i can do is wait. my french roommate has decided to invite 2 of her french guy friends into our tiny room. what is already a small space becomes claustrophobic when there are actually 4 people at one time "hanging out." especially when i am the outcast when it comes to the ability to speak the language as the others. none of them really speak english very well at all. other than being cold - all i can think is that my underwear is hanging everywhere drying as i just did my laundry. what a lovely impression to leave with a bunch of young men.
these boys have been in our room before - once to scoff at the thought that i was getting ready for bed "so early" (the french girl is regularly out all night only to arrive back in our room in the early hours of the morning to sleep). the second time was to scoff that i was "still" reading my book. i dont have any desire to have them comment on how id really like them to leave so i can put on some warmer clothes and start getting myself ready for bed. oh how i cant wait to move into my own room at the flat. my own space. my own bed. my own room. 12 more days to go untill i move. i can do it.
on another note, today appeared to be the day to break things. i broke my sunglasses at the beach (the 3rd pair since ive begun my journey from calgary in july) and then when i returned back to the hostel, i broke my spork while eating dinner. bummer. guess it balances out with the fact that i got a new swimsuit today. kind of.
10/22/09 . today was a day for the books. a day of cozing up in an overstuffed chair and burying my head in a novel. losing myself in the story, i sipped my vanilla latte at the nearest borders bookstore. time became a distant thought in the back of my mind as i was immersed in the adventures of frodo baggins and his friends.
i have never read "the lord of the rings" trilogy untill now. as of today i have finally and officially finished the first of the series (not counting "the hobbit," which isnt included in the famous 3, but its story preludes the trilogy). i have never been much for science fiction, but after watching the lord of the rings movies - i have been intrigued as to how the books compare. its hard to know if it would have been better to read the books first and i suppose i will never know. regardless, the adventurous quest the story tells captures a part of my soul and doesnt let go. it leaves me wanting more. it leaves me wishing that my life could be filled with such adventure, something to live fore - something to fight for. something to die for. maybe its a selfish thought to think, but should i ever write a book of my life - a memoir, if you will - would it be movie-worthy material? would it encapture the minds of my readers? woudl it inspire them to want more out of life? to be more than what they are? would a book of my life be an awe-inspiring page turner - something that is read over and over or would it be read once and then quickly forgotten? i spose i wont know untill i start to write...
i also read another book today, one called "in my skin" by kate hudson. its a memoir written about how kate fell into a heroin addiction and in order to feed that addiction she turned to prostitution for a source of money. its about how she hated her life. loved her life. wanted more. wanted less. about how some days she was ashamed of what she did - ashamed her family knew. about how other days she loved it so much she was proud to proclaim her newfound career choice. proud of her life. its about how she struggled, thrived and eventually beat her addiction and became who she had wanted to be all along. honest and raw, this book captured my attention and i simply couldnt put it down untill i was finished.
so many people scoff at the lifestyle and choices that people such as kate make (or made) and yet reading stories such as this reminds me that we are all the same. maybe we're not all addicted to heroin. maybe our drug of choice is chocolate. maybe its sleeping in. maybe its having control. maybe its alcohol. maybe its the great outdoors. not all of us are prostitutes, but at some point or another we will each compromise our childhood ideals for something else we never thought we'd do. that we never thought we'd become. that we never thought we'd choose. maybe it's for money. maybe fame. maybe acceptance. maybe it's just to survive. we all have our reasons. we all have our self-destructive downfalls. some of us are workaholics for the money. some to avoid dealing with failing relationships. some of us go out every weekend binge drinking in order to find love and acceptance. some of us work our butts off at the gym and then binge eat when we get home in order to satisfy an internal need for something that food never will. some of us continue to do the same routine because they "have to," they're "stuck," theres "no way out," - but the reality is that theyre afraid of change. afraid to be something more. afraid of the risk. each and every one of us is a heroin addict and prostitute on some level. we are all the same.
10/23/09 . another day at the beach complete only today it was not at brondi. anika (my hostel roomie) and i hopped on the bus this morning to get to circular quay - the bus/train/ferry hub of sydney. we then boarded the ferry to get to manly, a northern beach suburb of sydney. it was gorgeous. much like bondi with its cute shops and beach of golden sand - anika and i settled in. we spent the afternoon there soaking in the rays and then headed back in the early evening to our hostel... can't get much better than that.
10/24/09 . it is a grey day today and the clouds that cover the sky and sun also darken my heart. maybe it has to do with the fac tthat i took the day off from running. maybe its from a bad nights sleep or maybe its the weather alone that i feel this way. whatever the reason, the bottom line is that i feel stressed. and maybe all for nothing.
i got an email this morning from amex stating that they REALLY needed to discuss my account with them. its either something bad or just a ploy to get me to contact them all the way from australia. regardless - im not exactly looking forward to picking up that phone to dial the numbers. on top of that, i also got an email from my dad stating that my visa account notes a late payment and also shows i am near my limit. i knew i was nearing my limit simply because when my bank in canada so nicely froze my account i had no other choice but to use what little was left on my credit balance to hold me over. *sigh* and NOW, because i am STILL waiting on a new bank card in order to access everything online, i currently have no ability to really make sure my finances are running 100% smoothly. what a joy.
therefore - i am stressed. i KNOW theres not much i can do but wait, but still - its like a black cloud looming over me and i can do nothing but just sit there. annoying. frustrating.
as a result - the most i can think about is asking for more hours at work so that i can bring in some more moolah and create a bigger buffer zone. the other part of me wants to do a big "screw you" to the world, max out my credit cards in canada, declare bankruptcy and start over. but i know id never be happy with myself if i did that. *sigh*
sitting and waiting is hard for me to do when it comes to stressful situations. i do not like feeling stressed and so id much rather DO something abou tit to rid me of the gut-wrenching feeling. but right now i cant. i have to look past it and focus on what i CAN do - which for today that means slapping on some sunscreen and heading to work.
10/25/09 . in the land where swim lessons look like boot camp training - this has been a week of learning for me. smack dab in the middle of my workweek, the end of the weekend, the start of the next week for some calendars and the end of others - its sunday. a day of rest. a day of reflection. a day of nothing. and yet i work.
even still, as i sit here at bronte beach, waiting for my shift to start - i think back to this past week on all the experiences and life lessons i have endured. yesterday holds more significance in that regard than all the other days put together. sure - most of the day i spent working - most of it standing with my arms wet up to my elbows in soapy water as i washed all ninos dishware. again. and again. and again. but it started with the unfortunate email regarding my increasingly complicated financial situation. still not able to access my canadian bank account online. still not able to keep track of what payments i need to make to attempt in getting my name clear of debt. still not able to do a whole heck of a lot but stress over the fact that i cant do anything and because of that, the credit card companies arent to happy with me.
my day ended with me losing my camera (the one i bought in BC to replace the one of which i broke) only minutes before i had to meet ariana to go to a bbq party. tired as hell from work and lack of sleep from the night before - i was not a happy camper. and yet there wasnt much i could do but go out with ariana anyway and cross my fingers itd turn up later. it did - under the seat of the computer i had been sitting at right before i left for arianas.
and so what have i learned? i have learned that sometimes in life one really cant do anything but wait. it sucks. its frustrating. no control. nothing you can do but watch the time tick on. sometimes the waiting results in good - problems solved. sometimes it seems as though the hole thats been dug only gets deeper and deeper and yet all you can do is watch.
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as per my last few conversations with people it seems as though everyone is wanting news on "how its going." what my job is like. how im liking australia and such. with all these questions i feel as though i am some how neglecting my soul of the awe and wonderment that australia surely deserves. it is as though i should awake every morning with a smile beaming on my face and a song on the tip of my tongue as i jump out of bed thrilled to take on yet another day in this beautiful country. and yet that is not the case.
now dont get me wrong - life as it has been for the past month has been filled with much awe and wonderment at where i am. i love it here and i wake up everyday knowing that i am here and that i CHOSE to be here. but i also have adjusted to life here quite a bit. i am passed the stage of naive excitement that comes with entering a foreign place for a period of time. my travels have become my life. i am living here - work, home, friends - it is all here.
as such - it is odd to be on this end of a stream of questions asking me of things i have already processed for myself and have become accustomed to. and yet, because of these questions - i am writing still as it is me who is here and many who read what i write never have been and may never will. and so - it strangely has become my duty to not only write of the adventures i have going from point A to B, exploring new things i have never experienced in my lifetime, but also to write of what "life" is like once i settle in and what was once odd, new and fresh now appears normal, old and almost boring.
so what IS life like here in australia? it is very much the same and different as it was back at home in canada. sometimes i forget i am even "here." sometimes i feel as though i have woken up on another planet.
take something as simple as crossing the road. back in canada it can almost be incredibly frustrating to be driving in a stop and go fashion in order to wait for every type of pedestrian to cross the road - whether or not they are in the crosswalk. here, however, one learns very quickly that though pedestrians might legally have the right of way - culturally they do not... whether or not a crosswalk is involved. the amount of times i have attempted to cross a street at the corner only to be met with a blaring horn of a car with a driver shaking their fist, scowling or yelling at me as they speed by within inches of giving me a flesh makeover - as though it was my fault i almost got run over. well - i try to forget such situations and instead focus on heightening my senses for any vehicle that may not care if it flattens me like a pancake. and thats not just my experience either. ive seen dogs, kids, moms with strollers, the elderly and every other human being have their life flash before their eyes as they come within breathing distance of being roadkill.
and then theres the job. sure, i may serve people, make juice and coffe, ring up orders and try to make people smile - but there have been glaring differences with this type of job as well. first off - tips are not a common curtesy of the customer. it is a rare thing when people tip. as a result, one generally notices that the level of service in the industry is lower because people such as myself can choose to work hard or not and still get the same pay at the end of the day. so when it comes to my job, customers are genuinely surprised when i do something as simple as ask if they would like salt and pepper for their meal or water for their dog.
theres also the language - which goes for work or just everyday life. people say "tomato" not "tomatoe." its "how ya going?" rather than "hows it going?" theres no such thing as "normal coffee" and everything is shortened to a nickname except when talking about gum to which a person calls it "chewing gum" as though all of a sudden thats the one thing in the world that cant be turned into a slang word.
so when people as about work - about life - its tough to know what to say. i want to say that its "fine" or "good" or that theres "nothing new" as i would when in canada, but the reality of the situation i suppose really is quite different. i have been living in australia for only a month now - a country on the other side and hemisphere of the world from my own country... surely i can come up with a better response to how my life here is than the standard.
all in all - life is beautiful here - but thats also becuse of where ive chosen to stay in bondi. to go to the city or CBD as its sometimes called - sydney is quite similar to every other concrete jungle. yet bondi is fairly unique in its own culture and one can never get tired of the view. that and i continue to learn so much about australian culture. about the people. the life.
australians balk at the idea that back at home id have to shovel snow from the sidewalk and that it can get lower than -30 degress during the winter months. they cant comprehend the idea that the most intimidating creatures in canada are that of the moose, bear and cougar while almost everything under the sun here can bite or sting a person to death. on the flipside, australians have a very similar culture to canada. they generally see themselves as new zealands "USA" and that they are the dominant older/bigger sibling of the 2 countries. that being said, their ideals of life and politics and everything inbetween aligns more similarly with canada.
people here drive on the left side of the road. they drink alcohol in public areas. they live for rugby and cricket and have trouble fathoming the thought that people outside of themselves have never learned to surf. australia is a country that doesnt take itself seriously - it has tv shows similar to "saturday night live" that poke fun at the very culture and people it lives for. they are aiming for a healthier country whether through health-friendly food choices, recycling programs or development of better transit systems to reduce car emissions. it is a culture that values family and a healthy upbringing of children. it values world involvement when it comes to disaster relief and peace keeping missions rather than war. australia is diverse. it is the same. it is different. small. big. hot. cold. wet. dry. dangerous. safe. populated. remote. old. new. it is what it is and i love it.
so to answer everyones questions - life is good. it is fine. there is nothing new or exciting. and yet it is all so much more than that and i love it.
****
yet again at borders - the local bookstore. i find myself completely lost in the world of written word. the smell of coffee lingers in the air as peoples voices murmur with conversation all around me. pages turn. fingers tap buttons on laptops contected to the wireless world. i read.
i read of adventures had. those ones only dream of having. i have come upon a book today, based from a recommendation from someone i met at a bbq party last night and i can hardly wait to read it. but i have yet to finish my current novel. this new one, however, boasts of raw truth and yet of how close it is to the truth i am not sure. it is called "shantaram" and its about gregory david roberts (also the author) who was sentenced to 19 years of prison and escapted, becoming a fugitive in bombay, india. it talks of how his life in establishing a free medical clinic for slum dwellers, working as a couterfeiter, smuggler, gunrunner and street soldier for the bombay mafia... and so much more. and if that alone wasnt enough to peak mine (or anyone elses) interest, the first page starts off with:
"it took me a long time and most of the world to learn what i know about love and fate and choices we make, but the heart of it came to me in an instant, while i was chained to a wall and being tortured. i realised, somehow, through the screaming in my mind, that even in that shackled, bloody helplessness, i was still free: free to hate the men who were torturing me, or to forgive them. it doesn't sound like much, i know. but in the flinch and bit of the chain, when its all youve got, that freedom is a universe of possibility. and the choice you make, between hating and forgiving, can become the story of your life."
wow. what can a person even say to that? i can only begin to imagine what the rest of the book - the soul of the novel - could hold for my eyes to read. the man who recommended it to me and ariana last night spoke of how gripping a tale this book was. how it pulled him in and wouldnt let go. how it took him a year to read it not only because it is so long (about the size of 5 average novels), but because of the intensity of it. which makes me wonder - how much of it is based on truth? how does one even begin to discover such a story and will i ever be able to write such as that?
ever since i was young i have loved books. loved to read them. hold them. feel them. smell them. when i watched "beauty and the beast" for the first time, i immediately wanted a castle-sized library of my own. but more than that, i loved the idea of writing my own book. i still do. but untill i find the time, energy and just the right words for paper - i read what has already been published. picking out books such as "shantaram" fills me with a sense of excitement. intrigue. wonder. anything is possible in the world and i am inspired.
as such - even before i have begun to read it, i can feel it will be good - hell, hollywood is in the process of developing the book into a movie for 2011. so for those that are looking for the next book they cant put down - this one i definitely recommend.
these boys have been in our room before - once to scoff at the thought that i was getting ready for bed "so early" (the french girl is regularly out all night only to arrive back in our room in the early hours of the morning to sleep). the second time was to scoff that i was "still" reading my book. i dont have any desire to have them comment on how id really like them to leave so i can put on some warmer clothes and start getting myself ready for bed. oh how i cant wait to move into my own room at the flat. my own space. my own bed. my own room. 12 more days to go untill i move. i can do it.
on another note, today appeared to be the day to break things. i broke my sunglasses at the beach (the 3rd pair since ive begun my journey from calgary in july) and then when i returned back to the hostel, i broke my spork while eating dinner. bummer. guess it balances out with the fact that i got a new swimsuit today. kind of.
10/22/09 . today was a day for the books. a day of cozing up in an overstuffed chair and burying my head in a novel. losing myself in the story, i sipped my vanilla latte at the nearest borders bookstore. time became a distant thought in the back of my mind as i was immersed in the adventures of frodo baggins and his friends.
i have never read "the lord of the rings" trilogy untill now. as of today i have finally and officially finished the first of the series (not counting "the hobbit," which isnt included in the famous 3, but its story preludes the trilogy). i have never been much for science fiction, but after watching the lord of the rings movies - i have been intrigued as to how the books compare. its hard to know if it would have been better to read the books first and i suppose i will never know. regardless, the adventurous quest the story tells captures a part of my soul and doesnt let go. it leaves me wanting more. it leaves me wishing that my life could be filled with such adventure, something to live fore - something to fight for. something to die for. maybe its a selfish thought to think, but should i ever write a book of my life - a memoir, if you will - would it be movie-worthy material? would it encapture the minds of my readers? woudl it inspire them to want more out of life? to be more than what they are? would a book of my life be an awe-inspiring page turner - something that is read over and over or would it be read once and then quickly forgotten? i spose i wont know untill i start to write...
i also read another book today, one called "in my skin" by kate hudson. its a memoir written about how kate fell into a heroin addiction and in order to feed that addiction she turned to prostitution for a source of money. its about how she hated her life. loved her life. wanted more. wanted less. about how some days she was ashamed of what she did - ashamed her family knew. about how other days she loved it so much she was proud to proclaim her newfound career choice. proud of her life. its about how she struggled, thrived and eventually beat her addiction and became who she had wanted to be all along. honest and raw, this book captured my attention and i simply couldnt put it down untill i was finished.
so many people scoff at the lifestyle and choices that people such as kate make (or made) and yet reading stories such as this reminds me that we are all the same. maybe we're not all addicted to heroin. maybe our drug of choice is chocolate. maybe its sleeping in. maybe its having control. maybe its alcohol. maybe its the great outdoors. not all of us are prostitutes, but at some point or another we will each compromise our childhood ideals for something else we never thought we'd do. that we never thought we'd become. that we never thought we'd choose. maybe it's for money. maybe fame. maybe acceptance. maybe it's just to survive. we all have our reasons. we all have our self-destructive downfalls. some of us are workaholics for the money. some to avoid dealing with failing relationships. some of us go out every weekend binge drinking in order to find love and acceptance. some of us work our butts off at the gym and then binge eat when we get home in order to satisfy an internal need for something that food never will. some of us continue to do the same routine because they "have to," they're "stuck," theres "no way out," - but the reality is that theyre afraid of change. afraid to be something more. afraid of the risk. each and every one of us is a heroin addict and prostitute on some level. we are all the same.
10/23/09 . another day at the beach complete only today it was not at brondi. anika (my hostel roomie) and i hopped on the bus this morning to get to circular quay - the bus/train/ferry hub of sydney. we then boarded the ferry to get to manly, a northern beach suburb of sydney. it was gorgeous. much like bondi with its cute shops and beach of golden sand - anika and i settled in. we spent the afternoon there soaking in the rays and then headed back in the early evening to our hostel... can't get much better than that.
10/24/09 . it is a grey day today and the clouds that cover the sky and sun also darken my heart. maybe it has to do with the fac tthat i took the day off from running. maybe its from a bad nights sleep or maybe its the weather alone that i feel this way. whatever the reason, the bottom line is that i feel stressed. and maybe all for nothing.
i got an email this morning from amex stating that they REALLY needed to discuss my account with them. its either something bad or just a ploy to get me to contact them all the way from australia. regardless - im not exactly looking forward to picking up that phone to dial the numbers. on top of that, i also got an email from my dad stating that my visa account notes a late payment and also shows i am near my limit. i knew i was nearing my limit simply because when my bank in canada so nicely froze my account i had no other choice but to use what little was left on my credit balance to hold me over. *sigh* and NOW, because i am STILL waiting on a new bank card in order to access everything online, i currently have no ability to really make sure my finances are running 100% smoothly. what a joy.
therefore - i am stressed. i KNOW theres not much i can do but wait, but still - its like a black cloud looming over me and i can do nothing but just sit there. annoying. frustrating.
as a result - the most i can think about is asking for more hours at work so that i can bring in some more moolah and create a bigger buffer zone. the other part of me wants to do a big "screw you" to the world, max out my credit cards in canada, declare bankruptcy and start over. but i know id never be happy with myself if i did that. *sigh*
sitting and waiting is hard for me to do when it comes to stressful situations. i do not like feeling stressed and so id much rather DO something abou tit to rid me of the gut-wrenching feeling. but right now i cant. i have to look past it and focus on what i CAN do - which for today that means slapping on some sunscreen and heading to work.
10/25/09 . in the land where swim lessons look like boot camp training - this has been a week of learning for me. smack dab in the middle of my workweek, the end of the weekend, the start of the next week for some calendars and the end of others - its sunday. a day of rest. a day of reflection. a day of nothing. and yet i work.
even still, as i sit here at bronte beach, waiting for my shift to start - i think back to this past week on all the experiences and life lessons i have endured. yesterday holds more significance in that regard than all the other days put together. sure - most of the day i spent working - most of it standing with my arms wet up to my elbows in soapy water as i washed all ninos dishware. again. and again. and again. but it started with the unfortunate email regarding my increasingly complicated financial situation. still not able to access my canadian bank account online. still not able to keep track of what payments i need to make to attempt in getting my name clear of debt. still not able to do a whole heck of a lot but stress over the fact that i cant do anything and because of that, the credit card companies arent to happy with me.
my day ended with me losing my camera (the one i bought in BC to replace the one of which i broke) only minutes before i had to meet ariana to go to a bbq party. tired as hell from work and lack of sleep from the night before - i was not a happy camper. and yet there wasnt much i could do but go out with ariana anyway and cross my fingers itd turn up later. it did - under the seat of the computer i had been sitting at right before i left for arianas.
and so what have i learned? i have learned that sometimes in life one really cant do anything but wait. it sucks. its frustrating. no control. nothing you can do but watch the time tick on. sometimes the waiting results in good - problems solved. sometimes it seems as though the hole thats been dug only gets deeper and deeper and yet all you can do is watch.
****
as per my last few conversations with people it seems as though everyone is wanting news on "how its going." what my job is like. how im liking australia and such. with all these questions i feel as though i am some how neglecting my soul of the awe and wonderment that australia surely deserves. it is as though i should awake every morning with a smile beaming on my face and a song on the tip of my tongue as i jump out of bed thrilled to take on yet another day in this beautiful country. and yet that is not the case.
now dont get me wrong - life as it has been for the past month has been filled with much awe and wonderment at where i am. i love it here and i wake up everyday knowing that i am here and that i CHOSE to be here. but i also have adjusted to life here quite a bit. i am passed the stage of naive excitement that comes with entering a foreign place for a period of time. my travels have become my life. i am living here - work, home, friends - it is all here.
as such - it is odd to be on this end of a stream of questions asking me of things i have already processed for myself and have become accustomed to. and yet, because of these questions - i am writing still as it is me who is here and many who read what i write never have been and may never will. and so - it strangely has become my duty to not only write of the adventures i have going from point A to B, exploring new things i have never experienced in my lifetime, but also to write of what "life" is like once i settle in and what was once odd, new and fresh now appears normal, old and almost boring.
so what IS life like here in australia? it is very much the same and different as it was back at home in canada. sometimes i forget i am even "here." sometimes i feel as though i have woken up on another planet.
take something as simple as crossing the road. back in canada it can almost be incredibly frustrating to be driving in a stop and go fashion in order to wait for every type of pedestrian to cross the road - whether or not they are in the crosswalk. here, however, one learns very quickly that though pedestrians might legally have the right of way - culturally they do not... whether or not a crosswalk is involved. the amount of times i have attempted to cross a street at the corner only to be met with a blaring horn of a car with a driver shaking their fist, scowling or yelling at me as they speed by within inches of giving me a flesh makeover - as though it was my fault i almost got run over. well - i try to forget such situations and instead focus on heightening my senses for any vehicle that may not care if it flattens me like a pancake. and thats not just my experience either. ive seen dogs, kids, moms with strollers, the elderly and every other human being have their life flash before their eyes as they come within breathing distance of being roadkill.
and then theres the job. sure, i may serve people, make juice and coffe, ring up orders and try to make people smile - but there have been glaring differences with this type of job as well. first off - tips are not a common curtesy of the customer. it is a rare thing when people tip. as a result, one generally notices that the level of service in the industry is lower because people such as myself can choose to work hard or not and still get the same pay at the end of the day. so when it comes to my job, customers are genuinely surprised when i do something as simple as ask if they would like salt and pepper for their meal or water for their dog.
theres also the language - which goes for work or just everyday life. people say "tomato" not "tomatoe." its "how ya going?" rather than "hows it going?" theres no such thing as "normal coffee" and everything is shortened to a nickname except when talking about gum to which a person calls it "chewing gum" as though all of a sudden thats the one thing in the world that cant be turned into a slang word.
so when people as about work - about life - its tough to know what to say. i want to say that its "fine" or "good" or that theres "nothing new" as i would when in canada, but the reality of the situation i suppose really is quite different. i have been living in australia for only a month now - a country on the other side and hemisphere of the world from my own country... surely i can come up with a better response to how my life here is than the standard.
all in all - life is beautiful here - but thats also becuse of where ive chosen to stay in bondi. to go to the city or CBD as its sometimes called - sydney is quite similar to every other concrete jungle. yet bondi is fairly unique in its own culture and one can never get tired of the view. that and i continue to learn so much about australian culture. about the people. the life.
australians balk at the idea that back at home id have to shovel snow from the sidewalk and that it can get lower than -30 degress during the winter months. they cant comprehend the idea that the most intimidating creatures in canada are that of the moose, bear and cougar while almost everything under the sun here can bite or sting a person to death. on the flipside, australians have a very similar culture to canada. they generally see themselves as new zealands "USA" and that they are the dominant older/bigger sibling of the 2 countries. that being said, their ideals of life and politics and everything inbetween aligns more similarly with canada.
people here drive on the left side of the road. they drink alcohol in public areas. they live for rugby and cricket and have trouble fathoming the thought that people outside of themselves have never learned to surf. australia is a country that doesnt take itself seriously - it has tv shows similar to "saturday night live" that poke fun at the very culture and people it lives for. they are aiming for a healthier country whether through health-friendly food choices, recycling programs or development of better transit systems to reduce car emissions. it is a culture that values family and a healthy upbringing of children. it values world involvement when it comes to disaster relief and peace keeping missions rather than war. australia is diverse. it is the same. it is different. small. big. hot. cold. wet. dry. dangerous. safe. populated. remote. old. new. it is what it is and i love it.
so to answer everyones questions - life is good. it is fine. there is nothing new or exciting. and yet it is all so much more than that and i love it.
****
yet again at borders - the local bookstore. i find myself completely lost in the world of written word. the smell of coffee lingers in the air as peoples voices murmur with conversation all around me. pages turn. fingers tap buttons on laptops contected to the wireless world. i read.
i read of adventures had. those ones only dream of having. i have come upon a book today, based from a recommendation from someone i met at a bbq party last night and i can hardly wait to read it. but i have yet to finish my current novel. this new one, however, boasts of raw truth and yet of how close it is to the truth i am not sure. it is called "shantaram" and its about gregory david roberts (also the author) who was sentenced to 19 years of prison and escapted, becoming a fugitive in bombay, india. it talks of how his life in establishing a free medical clinic for slum dwellers, working as a couterfeiter, smuggler, gunrunner and street soldier for the bombay mafia... and so much more. and if that alone wasnt enough to peak mine (or anyone elses) interest, the first page starts off with:
"it took me a long time and most of the world to learn what i know about love and fate and choices we make, but the heart of it came to me in an instant, while i was chained to a wall and being tortured. i realised, somehow, through the screaming in my mind, that even in that shackled, bloody helplessness, i was still free: free to hate the men who were torturing me, or to forgive them. it doesn't sound like much, i know. but in the flinch and bit of the chain, when its all youve got, that freedom is a universe of possibility. and the choice you make, between hating and forgiving, can become the story of your life."
wow. what can a person even say to that? i can only begin to imagine what the rest of the book - the soul of the novel - could hold for my eyes to read. the man who recommended it to me and ariana last night spoke of how gripping a tale this book was. how it pulled him in and wouldnt let go. how it took him a year to read it not only because it is so long (about the size of 5 average novels), but because of the intensity of it. which makes me wonder - how much of it is based on truth? how does one even begin to discover such a story and will i ever be able to write such as that?
ever since i was young i have loved books. loved to read them. hold them. feel them. smell them. when i watched "beauty and the beast" for the first time, i immediately wanted a castle-sized library of my own. but more than that, i loved the idea of writing my own book. i still do. but untill i find the time, energy and just the right words for paper - i read what has already been published. picking out books such as "shantaram" fills me with a sense of excitement. intrigue. wonder. anything is possible in the world and i am inspired.
as such - even before i have begun to read it, i can feel it will be good - hell, hollywood is in the process of developing the book into a movie for 2011. so for those that are looking for the next book they cant put down - this one i definitely recommend.
aint got no escalade to talk about - just heart and soul
october 16/09
the grass is always greener on the other side. or - in my case - the sand is always whiter. even as i sit here gazing out to an ocean that can only be described as breathtaking - my mind is elsewhere. sure, i love it here. sure, this is all ive dreamed about, and then some. but i want more. not more materialistic possessions, but more experiences. i think of my friend who is living in the gold coast. i want to be there. i think of the friend who is in south america teaching scuba diving. i want to do that. i think of the one who is 25 and already has travelled so much of the world. i wish i were her. theres the guy i met who just travels with his surfboard, going where the waves are. i admire that. theres the other guy i met who is still in the process of cycling to argentina to raise money for autism. i wish i had a cause. theres those i know back at home who just graduated university and those doing their masters. i want to be like that.
i want to do it all. i want to learn how to surf. rock climb. dance. i want to be able to teach scuba diving. english as a second language. sports. i want to climb mountains, swim oceans and travel to places few have ever been before. i want to meet people, build relationships and make memories. i want to work for a cause, fight for whats right and raise awareness of critical issues. i want to follow my heart. my dreams. my desires.
i froget that that is what i AM doing. and i am not nearly done yet. i have climbed mountains. i walked across BC. i have already seen things that most never will. i am now living on one of the most famous beaches of the world and yet there is so much more to come. so much more to see, do and learn. so much more to explore, experience and stand in complete awe over. i am not nearly done my journey. i have only just begun and i can hardly even process the possibilities of where this life will take me next.
a while back i was talking to someone who, upon hearing of my journey to date, asked me if i was afraid to do what i did. afraid to do what i am doing now. afraid - yes, i am. afraid to continue. afraid of what is yet to come. afraid that i wont make friends. afraid of the finances. of the unknown. but most of all, above everything else, i am afraid that one day all of this will have to end.
october 17/09
i dont know why this is the way it is, but it seems like no matter where i am in the world, when it comes to the fitting rooms of large department stores, i encounter some of the tightest security measures around. there is always some unreasonable restriction on how many items a person can bring to the fitting room, something of which always makes me question what they really expect is going to happen should a person bring (*gasp*) 6 items to the back when theyre only allowed 5. as if this is not enough to cause a person to wonder how much power a department store can have over the person, they seem to always choose the oldest woman working at the store to exercise the right to use this power. once you get to the front of the line for the fitting room (and theres ALWAYS a line), you come face-to-face with who reminds you of your sweet old great grandmother. she asks you how many items you have. you tell her. as it is with me, the number ALWAYS seems to exceed the amount i am allowed to bring in the change room. not that it matters that i informed the elderly worker on how many items i have. she never believes me. so she counts them herself which takes forever as it is apparent that she truely takes her job seriously (heaven forbid she gets the number wrong). once she is finished counting (i can feel the people behind me growing aggitated), she looks up and repeats the number of items i have (its the same number i gave her) and then proceeds to inform me that i am "not allowed" to bring that many in. we have a staredown. she resents me for bringing too many items to the fitting room area. i resent that she is taking up all my fitting room time with this chatter of nothing. we finally agree that i will leave my "excess items" on the little clothing rack out front. she gives me the little plastic card that states i have the maximum amount of items allowed and lets me go to the back. i have never understood the purpose of these plastic cards as they do nothing. once you get them, they no longer hold any significance to anything. they are just an annoying piece of plastic that you have to carry with you as though it is your key to clothing heaven. its not. the experience just ends once you get it. everytime. there is no amazing story after you enter the changeroom, but everywhere i go - whether in canada, the states, australia or elsewhere it is the same. and i dont understand it. it is not as though these stores are selling ridiculously priced clothes. it is not as though there is a back window in the fitting rooms where they suspect people might make a run for it. it is not as though it REALLY makes a difference whether a person brings 5, 10, 15 or 200 items to the back -- if they want to steal something... theyre going to steal it. in fact the process that these department stores have arranged for fitting room etiquette is nothing more than an annoyance that ends up costing a person more time than if they just tried the clothes on in the middle of an aisle of the store (which some days i have actually resorted to)....
****
i was having such a good daze all curled up in my bunk, bu then one of my roommates came in and i forced myself to open my eyes. i figured it probably wouldnt make a good first impression (she just got here today and i hadnt met her yet) for her to walk in on me in my ball-like position on the top bunk. after all, it is not even 8 pm. even still, after our small talk of chit chat introductions, she is still here. changing clothes, but here just the same. my body is crying out to me with all its achy tiredness - i just want to sleep.
last night i had spent the evenign with ariana at the chinese markets of which she bought a tiffany and co knockoff necklace and i found myself samplying fried chicken neck (its quite crunchy as the bones are still in). we then headed back to her flat for some ice cream (for me) , wine (for her), tv (james bond was on - sweetness) and scrabble (we made it through half a game before our minds hit a road block). around midnight i found myself crawling into my bed back at the hostle. not a bad time for a friday night, but considering i have been going to bed around 10 pm (or earlier) and i had to work my first 8 hour shift in 4 months today - well, my ipod enhanced alarm came on all too soon.
so an 8 hour shift completed (to which i conveniently impressed my boss with my waitressing skills), i trudged the 10 min ocean-lined walk back to the hostel, chatted it up with anika before she went out for dinner with her uncle and then cozied up in my bunk with the latest issue of womens health magazine. munching on a carton of tim tams (australias most favored chocolate-covered waffer -- i can totally understand why), i came to the article in my magazine on beating unhealthy cravings all too late - my carton of chocolate goodies was mpty and i was left staring at a photograph-enhanced write-up on tim tams and why theyre bad to eat so many. oops.
it was around that point my pillow started to look so much more inviting than the magazine that was so blatently pointing out my "wrongs" of the day. i curled up and past out. which brings me to now. my new roommate (another frenchie) has finished changing and officially has left the building. i am left with the room to myself which i can only treasure fo rso long as withing the next hour or so, all 3 of my roomies will be back. i dont feel as though i can completely and utterly relax. its a similar feelign to when you have guests over and theres that point in time which everyone is ALWAYS happy, ALWAYS social, ALWAYS presentable - its exhausting and the only reprive from it is knowing that the guests will eventually leave. that doest happen at a hostel. sure - "they" might leave, but others will come. so instead one is constantly put in the position of HAVING to stick that smile on, drag themselves through the repetitive (and generally language-challenged) conversation, all the while knowing full well that you will never have your own space. people come and go as they please and even when theyre gone theres a certain amount of stress and anxiety in knowing they will be back. such as now - even as i write, another roommate has returned. but i am frankly too tired to care. she can judge all she wants, but dammit, i want to go to sleep and that is what i am going to do!
october 19/09
its funny how the more you have, the more you want and the lses happy you are. its when you truely simplify life that satisfaction is possible. to this day people are constatly commenting to me that i am "so lucky" to be where i am, doing what i am doing. the thing is - luck has nothing to do about it. i am working at a juice bar on a beach. i live in a hostel (which i will soon move out into a small flat in a couple weeks) that is it. that IS my life. prior to this i literally lived out of my backpack, hopping from place to place. i have not been living a 5-star life. i have sold everything. i dont watch my movies on a big flat screen tv - i only have access to vhs. i dont have a closet full of the latest styles. i put on my flip flops everyday and pick out an outfit from the small pile in my locker that is continuously falling over. i do not have money to eat out everyday. i pretty much live off of PB + J sandwiches (or whatever i can get for free at work). i am not making tons of cash - my extracurricular activities consist of going on runs, hanging out at the beach and playing scrabble at my friends house. more often than not, i am crawling into my top bunk before 9 pm and i am waking up at the crack of dawn.
but i am happy. life is simple. life is good. i wake up most days to a bright blue sky. the sun rising on the horizon of crystal clear ocean waters. i enjoy the simplicity of the warm sun on my face. my toes in the sand. a hard run in the mornings ending with time to meditate - sweat dripping off my body as the ocean breeze cools me. my job is fun. i meet the most interesting people and get paid to help make their coffee/juice/meal experience more enjoyable. i have friends to talk to. to hang with. to make me laugh. and i even have the ability to put some money aside for future things such as surfing lessons or canyoning the blue moutains. what more could i ask for?
luck has nothing to do with where i am right now. all it was was a choice. a choice to make a change. a choice to take a risk. a choice to chase a goal. i chose to save my money back at home rather than do other things. i chose to quit my job. move out of my apartment. sell my things. i even chose to walk across BC. it was by my choice that i hopped on that plane to come to australia and i wouldnt give it up for the world. but there was no luck. what i am doing is simply the result of me choosing to do it. choosing to give up what i had in order to do something different. anyone can do it if they want to. its all whether or not one is willing to take that step.
as i am sure most have heard by now (or if you havent - you will soon), there was a 16 year old girl, jessica watson who set sail this wek from sydney to go aroudn the world in hopes of setting a new record for the youngest person to sail non-stop around the world (click on her name to go to her website and read about it). at 16 years of age. there are huge debates as to whether or not she can do it. whether or not her parents should be in support of her (they are). the person who currently wholds the record is a young man who was 17 at the time of sailing. he is probably the only person who could maybe make any sort of judgement call as to whether or not this jessica can succeed. other than that, time will tell.
listening to this story (its constantly on the news over here), it reminds me of when i initially started making plans to walk across BC. i made a choice, as did this jessica. a choice for something different. a choice for adventure. a choice to push ourselves. a choice for fun and love of what we were doing. there were critics for what i was doing as well. people from all over (even those who hadnt done more than a casual day hike in their time) cautioning me of the dangers and sharing their concerns of why it wouldnt be a "good idea." the thing that i come back to though - when it comes to fulfilling our dreams and hearts desires, at what point can it EVER be considered a "bad idea?" if we were to discount all ideas that seemed wierd. out there. impossible. scary. risky. hard. we would never do ANYTHING. we would be able to challenge ourselves. push our limits. go beyond. grow. learn. change. we wouldnt be anything more than what we were the day before. what would be our purpose in life if not to chase the dreams that are engraved on the deepest parts of our souls?
all deep thinking aside, the past few days have flown by as i have been working and running everyday. the other day on my way to work, i managed to spot a whole bunch of dolphins playing off the shore. they were gorgeous as they swan in their grouping - whether they were feeding, mating or playing - i do not know, but i was awestruck.
as far as my living situation, i have FINALLY gotten word that i get to move into the flat on november 2, 2 weeks from now. sure - that means i will have actually lived at this hostel for a month, but i do not mind. how could i when i know that i have found a place perfect for my needs?
other than that i am constantly amazed at how everyone is super fit around here and how drivers seem to have tunnel vision on the roads. they dont care if theres an animal or human in front of them - they hit the horn instead of the breaks. as far as being super fit - i am finding it difficult to compete as generally during this time of year i relax on my body ideals and put on a little "winter weight" - it doesnt matter a whole lot as the swimsuits are stuffed in the far back corner of the closet. but here - its swimsuit season ALL YEAR long. people are actually striving to maintain their beach bodies. not like the overly superficial way people generally do in places such as LA/hollywood (though there still is a few of those people around) - people are more or less just trying to do things to look healthy. feel healthy. be healthy. its contagious. addictive. the hard part for me is that, sure, i am "in shape," but i am not as in shape as i was when i walked across BC. i now know how much further my body can be pushed and i am dying to get back to that, but struggle on how to do that without strapping a 60lbs (or more) pack to my back and walking for 30km/day. oh well - over time i am sure i will figure it out....
NOTE: if you are interested in jessica watson's story and what she is doing, check out her website at: http://www.jessicawatson.com.au/ her site includes a blog, her route and other information as to how her journey is going.
the grass is always greener on the other side. or - in my case - the sand is always whiter. even as i sit here gazing out to an ocean that can only be described as breathtaking - my mind is elsewhere. sure, i love it here. sure, this is all ive dreamed about, and then some. but i want more. not more materialistic possessions, but more experiences. i think of my friend who is living in the gold coast. i want to be there. i think of the friend who is in south america teaching scuba diving. i want to do that. i think of the one who is 25 and already has travelled so much of the world. i wish i were her. theres the guy i met who just travels with his surfboard, going where the waves are. i admire that. theres the other guy i met who is still in the process of cycling to argentina to raise money for autism. i wish i had a cause. theres those i know back at home who just graduated university and those doing their masters. i want to be like that.
i want to do it all. i want to learn how to surf. rock climb. dance. i want to be able to teach scuba diving. english as a second language. sports. i want to climb mountains, swim oceans and travel to places few have ever been before. i want to meet people, build relationships and make memories. i want to work for a cause, fight for whats right and raise awareness of critical issues. i want to follow my heart. my dreams. my desires.
i froget that that is what i AM doing. and i am not nearly done yet. i have climbed mountains. i walked across BC. i have already seen things that most never will. i am now living on one of the most famous beaches of the world and yet there is so much more to come. so much more to see, do and learn. so much more to explore, experience and stand in complete awe over. i am not nearly done my journey. i have only just begun and i can hardly even process the possibilities of where this life will take me next.
a while back i was talking to someone who, upon hearing of my journey to date, asked me if i was afraid to do what i did. afraid to do what i am doing now. afraid - yes, i am. afraid to continue. afraid of what is yet to come. afraid that i wont make friends. afraid of the finances. of the unknown. but most of all, above everything else, i am afraid that one day all of this will have to end.
october 17/09
i dont know why this is the way it is, but it seems like no matter where i am in the world, when it comes to the fitting rooms of large department stores, i encounter some of the tightest security measures around. there is always some unreasonable restriction on how many items a person can bring to the fitting room, something of which always makes me question what they really expect is going to happen should a person bring (*gasp*) 6 items to the back when theyre only allowed 5. as if this is not enough to cause a person to wonder how much power a department store can have over the person, they seem to always choose the oldest woman working at the store to exercise the right to use this power. once you get to the front of the line for the fitting room (and theres ALWAYS a line), you come face-to-face with who reminds you of your sweet old great grandmother. she asks you how many items you have. you tell her. as it is with me, the number ALWAYS seems to exceed the amount i am allowed to bring in the change room. not that it matters that i informed the elderly worker on how many items i have. she never believes me. so she counts them herself which takes forever as it is apparent that she truely takes her job seriously (heaven forbid she gets the number wrong). once she is finished counting (i can feel the people behind me growing aggitated), she looks up and repeats the number of items i have (its the same number i gave her) and then proceeds to inform me that i am "not allowed" to bring that many in. we have a staredown. she resents me for bringing too many items to the fitting room area. i resent that she is taking up all my fitting room time with this chatter of nothing. we finally agree that i will leave my "excess items" on the little clothing rack out front. she gives me the little plastic card that states i have the maximum amount of items allowed and lets me go to the back. i have never understood the purpose of these plastic cards as they do nothing. once you get them, they no longer hold any significance to anything. they are just an annoying piece of plastic that you have to carry with you as though it is your key to clothing heaven. its not. the experience just ends once you get it. everytime. there is no amazing story after you enter the changeroom, but everywhere i go - whether in canada, the states, australia or elsewhere it is the same. and i dont understand it. it is not as though these stores are selling ridiculously priced clothes. it is not as though there is a back window in the fitting rooms where they suspect people might make a run for it. it is not as though it REALLY makes a difference whether a person brings 5, 10, 15 or 200 items to the back -- if they want to steal something... theyre going to steal it. in fact the process that these department stores have arranged for fitting room etiquette is nothing more than an annoyance that ends up costing a person more time than if they just tried the clothes on in the middle of an aisle of the store (which some days i have actually resorted to)....
****
i was having such a good daze all curled up in my bunk, bu then one of my roommates came in and i forced myself to open my eyes. i figured it probably wouldnt make a good first impression (she just got here today and i hadnt met her yet) for her to walk in on me in my ball-like position on the top bunk. after all, it is not even 8 pm. even still, after our small talk of chit chat introductions, she is still here. changing clothes, but here just the same. my body is crying out to me with all its achy tiredness - i just want to sleep.
last night i had spent the evenign with ariana at the chinese markets of which she bought a tiffany and co knockoff necklace and i found myself samplying fried chicken neck (its quite crunchy as the bones are still in). we then headed back to her flat for some ice cream (for me) , wine (for her), tv (james bond was on - sweetness) and scrabble (we made it through half a game before our minds hit a road block). around midnight i found myself crawling into my bed back at the hostle. not a bad time for a friday night, but considering i have been going to bed around 10 pm (or earlier) and i had to work my first 8 hour shift in 4 months today - well, my ipod enhanced alarm came on all too soon.
so an 8 hour shift completed (to which i conveniently impressed my boss with my waitressing skills), i trudged the 10 min ocean-lined walk back to the hostel, chatted it up with anika before she went out for dinner with her uncle and then cozied up in my bunk with the latest issue of womens health magazine. munching on a carton of tim tams (australias most favored chocolate-covered waffer -- i can totally understand why), i came to the article in my magazine on beating unhealthy cravings all too late - my carton of chocolate goodies was mpty and i was left staring at a photograph-enhanced write-up on tim tams and why theyre bad to eat so many. oops.
it was around that point my pillow started to look so much more inviting than the magazine that was so blatently pointing out my "wrongs" of the day. i curled up and past out. which brings me to now. my new roommate (another frenchie) has finished changing and officially has left the building. i am left with the room to myself which i can only treasure fo rso long as withing the next hour or so, all 3 of my roomies will be back. i dont feel as though i can completely and utterly relax. its a similar feelign to when you have guests over and theres that point in time which everyone is ALWAYS happy, ALWAYS social, ALWAYS presentable - its exhausting and the only reprive from it is knowing that the guests will eventually leave. that doest happen at a hostel. sure - "they" might leave, but others will come. so instead one is constantly put in the position of HAVING to stick that smile on, drag themselves through the repetitive (and generally language-challenged) conversation, all the while knowing full well that you will never have your own space. people come and go as they please and even when theyre gone theres a certain amount of stress and anxiety in knowing they will be back. such as now - even as i write, another roommate has returned. but i am frankly too tired to care. she can judge all she wants, but dammit, i want to go to sleep and that is what i am going to do!
october 19/09
its funny how the more you have, the more you want and the lses happy you are. its when you truely simplify life that satisfaction is possible. to this day people are constatly commenting to me that i am "so lucky" to be where i am, doing what i am doing. the thing is - luck has nothing to do about it. i am working at a juice bar on a beach. i live in a hostel (which i will soon move out into a small flat in a couple weeks) that is it. that IS my life. prior to this i literally lived out of my backpack, hopping from place to place. i have not been living a 5-star life. i have sold everything. i dont watch my movies on a big flat screen tv - i only have access to vhs. i dont have a closet full of the latest styles. i put on my flip flops everyday and pick out an outfit from the small pile in my locker that is continuously falling over. i do not have money to eat out everyday. i pretty much live off of PB + J sandwiches (or whatever i can get for free at work). i am not making tons of cash - my extracurricular activities consist of going on runs, hanging out at the beach and playing scrabble at my friends house. more often than not, i am crawling into my top bunk before 9 pm and i am waking up at the crack of dawn.
but i am happy. life is simple. life is good. i wake up most days to a bright blue sky. the sun rising on the horizon of crystal clear ocean waters. i enjoy the simplicity of the warm sun on my face. my toes in the sand. a hard run in the mornings ending with time to meditate - sweat dripping off my body as the ocean breeze cools me. my job is fun. i meet the most interesting people and get paid to help make their coffee/juice/meal experience more enjoyable. i have friends to talk to. to hang with. to make me laugh. and i even have the ability to put some money aside for future things such as surfing lessons or canyoning the blue moutains. what more could i ask for?
luck has nothing to do with where i am right now. all it was was a choice. a choice to make a change. a choice to take a risk. a choice to chase a goal. i chose to save my money back at home rather than do other things. i chose to quit my job. move out of my apartment. sell my things. i even chose to walk across BC. it was by my choice that i hopped on that plane to come to australia and i wouldnt give it up for the world. but there was no luck. what i am doing is simply the result of me choosing to do it. choosing to give up what i had in order to do something different. anyone can do it if they want to. its all whether or not one is willing to take that step.
as i am sure most have heard by now (or if you havent - you will soon), there was a 16 year old girl, jessica watson who set sail this wek from sydney to go aroudn the world in hopes of setting a new record for the youngest person to sail non-stop around the world (click on her name to go to her website and read about it). at 16 years of age. there are huge debates as to whether or not she can do it. whether or not her parents should be in support of her (they are). the person who currently wholds the record is a young man who was 17 at the time of sailing. he is probably the only person who could maybe make any sort of judgement call as to whether or not this jessica can succeed. other than that, time will tell.
listening to this story (its constantly on the news over here), it reminds me of when i initially started making plans to walk across BC. i made a choice, as did this jessica. a choice for something different. a choice for adventure. a choice to push ourselves. a choice for fun and love of what we were doing. there were critics for what i was doing as well. people from all over (even those who hadnt done more than a casual day hike in their time) cautioning me of the dangers and sharing their concerns of why it wouldnt be a "good idea." the thing that i come back to though - when it comes to fulfilling our dreams and hearts desires, at what point can it EVER be considered a "bad idea?" if we were to discount all ideas that seemed wierd. out there. impossible. scary. risky. hard. we would never do ANYTHING. we would be able to challenge ourselves. push our limits. go beyond. grow. learn. change. we wouldnt be anything more than what we were the day before. what would be our purpose in life if not to chase the dreams that are engraved on the deepest parts of our souls?
all deep thinking aside, the past few days have flown by as i have been working and running everyday. the other day on my way to work, i managed to spot a whole bunch of dolphins playing off the shore. they were gorgeous as they swan in their grouping - whether they were feeding, mating or playing - i do not know, but i was awestruck.
as far as my living situation, i have FINALLY gotten word that i get to move into the flat on november 2, 2 weeks from now. sure - that means i will have actually lived at this hostel for a month, but i do not mind. how could i when i know that i have found a place perfect for my needs?
other than that i am constantly amazed at how everyone is super fit around here and how drivers seem to have tunnel vision on the roads. they dont care if theres an animal or human in front of them - they hit the horn instead of the breaks. as far as being super fit - i am finding it difficult to compete as generally during this time of year i relax on my body ideals and put on a little "winter weight" - it doesnt matter a whole lot as the swimsuits are stuffed in the far back corner of the closet. but here - its swimsuit season ALL YEAR long. people are actually striving to maintain their beach bodies. not like the overly superficial way people generally do in places such as LA/hollywood (though there still is a few of those people around) - people are more or less just trying to do things to look healthy. feel healthy. be healthy. its contagious. addictive. the hard part for me is that, sure, i am "in shape," but i am not as in shape as i was when i walked across BC. i now know how much further my body can be pushed and i am dying to get back to that, but struggle on how to do that without strapping a 60lbs (or more) pack to my back and walking for 30km/day. oh well - over time i am sure i will figure it out....
NOTE: if you are interested in jessica watson's story and what she is doing, check out her website at: http://www.jessicawatson.com.au/ her site includes a blog, her route and other information as to how her journey is going.
never take life seriously. no one gets out alive anyway.
october 13/09
you know when you wake up and you just know its going to be "your" day? thats what it was like for me today. granted, i did still wake up feeling like a truck had run me over, but that feeling quickly passed.
i skipped running today and instead took my time heading over to bronte beach for my first day on the job at ninos. i was early, so i sat in the sand and just breathed. i wondered how i could ever have considered working in the city at that other job when it would have meant id have to give up working at a place like ninos. as i sat there and watched the waves glistening in the sun like a million diamons, i knew this is where i am supposed to be. feet in the sand, i just sat there and took it all in. eventually i had to get up and go to work.
beings that it was my first day, things ran pretty smoothly. i did, however, screw up on almost all my coffee-making (though fortunately....
october 14/09
first things first: my pen ran out of ink yesterday. hense the sudden ending to my ramblings. as i had being saying, my first day on the job had gone pretty well, aside from my continuous failed attempts to impress my new boss with my certified coffee-making skills. apparently i wasnt quite up to par with that, though in my defense - the machine was different, ninos doest dump the extra frothed milk and they dont use temperature gauges to figure out when to stop frothing the milk.
after my shift, i went out to check a possibility for an adequate living situation. this apartment is about 3 minute walk to bondi beach, within my budget (cheaper than the hostel) and clean. i would be living with a couple who has the other room and theyre super cool (definitely no expected group "naughty" excursions here). haha. the only thing is im stuck waiting untill tomorrow or friday to hear back from this fabio to know if i got the room. knock on wood. fingers crossed. i am hoping with all i got that they pick me. it would be a perfect place and i was getting so close to the point of compromising my standards just to get A place.
so today i woke up, went for my run and then decided id spen a fabulous day at the beach (i dont work again untill friday). i got all the way down to the beautiful white sands and settled in on my towel. thats when the clouds rolled in and the wind picked up. i layed there attempting to get comfortable as the sand swirled around, pelting my skin and filling my ears. i put in my ipod, blocked the wind with my bag and then the goosebumps appeared.
i had to move. i transferred my gear up on the grassy hill where at least i now dont feel as though i am going to become a sand dune on the beach.
october 16/09
there is sand everywhere. in my purse. my waterbottle. my sheets. my book. my toes. my hair. there is even some still in my ears. i am constantly brushing off sand from places i never thought possible. there is sand everywhere. the past couple days i have been on the beach with my newfound friend and hostel roommate, anika (pronounced: anne-ee-ka). the wind would blow, constantly pelting us with the tiny particles, but we stayed put. a little wind and sand wouldnt scare us away.
that being said, yesterday it wasnt just the wind to cause a little bit of excitement on the beach yesterday. there are always hoards of people that bring all sorts of personality to the white sands. yesterday there was a group of guys in which one decided that he was going to hit the beach in his undies (gracefully pulled up the crack of his buttocks to show off his "buns") and as it would have been "inappropriate" to swim in such swimwear... he promptly stripped down to the bare in order to take a little swim. now, in australia there are quite a number of nude and semi-nude beaches around. in fact, its common to see women sun bathing topless on bondi beach.... but this guy was different. prancing around and definitely high on something special he ran, skipped and jumped in the waves, proudly baring his goods for all to see. anika and i avoided eye contact (he also appeared to be overly friendly and eager to talk to any of the women on the beach) and stuck our noses in our books. never a dull moment.
that was the story of the past 2 days. beach. sun. wind. sand. today, i finally feel as though i can relax completely. i officially have my schedule at the juice bar and feel as though i am fitting right in. granted, i have only worked there one day and today will be my second day, but still. it fits. secondly, i FINALLY have gotten word that i can move into the room of this apartment i wanted. $170 pw and a 3 min walk to bondi beach and i am in heaven. i most likely wont be able to physically move in untill the end of the month, but still. it feels good to have found something i can call "home" for the next little bit. life is good.
now inbetween now and when i move in i got big plans of work, eat, sleep and beach bumming. and not necessarily in that order. but thats it. things such as surf lessons, scuba diving, canyoning the blue mountains, random classess, artwork, shopping, road trips and volunteer work can wait untill i get settled in. i can feel already that its going to be a busy next few months and im loving it.
i love it all. the sparkly blue waters. the crashing waves. the warm sand. basking in the sun. going to work in my flip flops and having my biggest worry in life be that i might get sunburned if i forget my suntan lotion.
you know when you wake up and you just know its going to be "your" day? thats what it was like for me today. granted, i did still wake up feeling like a truck had run me over, but that feeling quickly passed.
i skipped running today and instead took my time heading over to bronte beach for my first day on the job at ninos. i was early, so i sat in the sand and just breathed. i wondered how i could ever have considered working in the city at that other job when it would have meant id have to give up working at a place like ninos. as i sat there and watched the waves glistening in the sun like a million diamons, i knew this is where i am supposed to be. feet in the sand, i just sat there and took it all in. eventually i had to get up and go to work.
beings that it was my first day, things ran pretty smoothly. i did, however, screw up on almost all my coffee-making (though fortunately....
october 14/09
first things first: my pen ran out of ink yesterday. hense the sudden ending to my ramblings. as i had being saying, my first day on the job had gone pretty well, aside from my continuous failed attempts to impress my new boss with my certified coffee-making skills. apparently i wasnt quite up to par with that, though in my defense - the machine was different, ninos doest dump the extra frothed milk and they dont use temperature gauges to figure out when to stop frothing the milk.
after my shift, i went out to check a possibility for an adequate living situation. this apartment is about 3 minute walk to bondi beach, within my budget (cheaper than the hostel) and clean. i would be living with a couple who has the other room and theyre super cool (definitely no expected group "naughty" excursions here). haha. the only thing is im stuck waiting untill tomorrow or friday to hear back from this fabio to know if i got the room. knock on wood. fingers crossed. i am hoping with all i got that they pick me. it would be a perfect place and i was getting so close to the point of compromising my standards just to get A place.
so today i woke up, went for my run and then decided id spen a fabulous day at the beach (i dont work again untill friday). i got all the way down to the beautiful white sands and settled in on my towel. thats when the clouds rolled in and the wind picked up. i layed there attempting to get comfortable as the sand swirled around, pelting my skin and filling my ears. i put in my ipod, blocked the wind with my bag and then the goosebumps appeared.
i had to move. i transferred my gear up on the grassy hill where at least i now dont feel as though i am going to become a sand dune on the beach.
october 16/09
there is sand everywhere. in my purse. my waterbottle. my sheets. my book. my toes. my hair. there is even some still in my ears. i am constantly brushing off sand from places i never thought possible. there is sand everywhere. the past couple days i have been on the beach with my newfound friend and hostel roommate, anika (pronounced: anne-ee-ka). the wind would blow, constantly pelting us with the tiny particles, but we stayed put. a little wind and sand wouldnt scare us away.
that being said, yesterday it wasnt just the wind to cause a little bit of excitement on the beach yesterday. there are always hoards of people that bring all sorts of personality to the white sands. yesterday there was a group of guys in which one decided that he was going to hit the beach in his undies (gracefully pulled up the crack of his buttocks to show off his "buns") and as it would have been "inappropriate" to swim in such swimwear... he promptly stripped down to the bare in order to take a little swim. now, in australia there are quite a number of nude and semi-nude beaches around. in fact, its common to see women sun bathing topless on bondi beach.... but this guy was different. prancing around and definitely high on something special he ran, skipped and jumped in the waves, proudly baring his goods for all to see. anika and i avoided eye contact (he also appeared to be overly friendly and eager to talk to any of the women on the beach) and stuck our noses in our books. never a dull moment.
that was the story of the past 2 days. beach. sun. wind. sand. today, i finally feel as though i can relax completely. i officially have my schedule at the juice bar and feel as though i am fitting right in. granted, i have only worked there one day and today will be my second day, but still. it fits. secondly, i FINALLY have gotten word that i can move into the room of this apartment i wanted. $170 pw and a 3 min walk to bondi beach and i am in heaven. i most likely wont be able to physically move in untill the end of the month, but still. it feels good to have found something i can call "home" for the next little bit. life is good.
now inbetween now and when i move in i got big plans of work, eat, sleep and beach bumming. and not necessarily in that order. but thats it. things such as surf lessons, scuba diving, canyoning the blue mountains, random classess, artwork, shopping, road trips and volunteer work can wait untill i get settled in. i can feel already that its going to be a busy next few months and im loving it.
i love it all. the sparkly blue waters. the crashing waves. the warm sand. basking in the sun. going to work in my flip flops and having my biggest worry in life be that i might get sunburned if i forget my suntan lotion.
stepping into fear is the most self-empowering thing you can do for yourself
october 9/09
i dont understand what it is with french people who like to travel so they can "learn english," but then always seem to end up grouping together to babble away in french. its amusing, really. i mean, i understand the whole im-in-a-foreign-country-and-i-dont-speak-the-language deal which makes a person gravitate towards others like them. but my observation comes from the fact that my last 8 hostel roommates have all spoken french and clung together like a heard of cattle. there have been no germans. no asians. no anything other than french. just me and a bunch of french people. i wish i could pick up the language uber fast to know what theyre talking about.
october 10/09
"whatever is meant to be will be." and sometimes making what is meant to be happen is as much about being patient and waiting as it is about going out there to make things happen. i find that an incredibly hard concept for me to swallow - sitting on my hands and waiting for the cards to be dealt. i am a "doer." if i want something - i will go after it with all i got. but what after that? that is the time to wait. to think. to let the answers and optiosn come to me. what i have learned in life is that which is meant to be neither falls in your lap nor does it necessarily automatically come when it is so fiercely pursues. it is a balance - as all good things in life are.
what i am ultimately referring to is my house-hunt. i have come to the place in which i have exhausted all my options and nothing has felt quite right yet. nothing has given me that feeling of bubbling excitement to know that this is the place i am supposed to be. so now it is time to back off a little and see what will come of everything.
ashley (the girl i met at one of my interviews) and i have found a lovely apartment to rent in the heart of bondi junction. within walking distance to everything, fully furnished, clean and in a decent price range - it works. only we need 2-3 other people to share it with as there is no possible way we'd be able to afford it on our own. we have untill monday (2 days from now) to find people. right. the trick is not to find "people," as plenty will pay the money to live in bondi - its finding the RIGHT people. as i said - what is meant to be will be.
so i wait - wait for housing, wait for my barista training, wait for the weather to get nicer, wait for my jobs to start - i sit here and think. i always find it so fascinating just to take the time to think. about everything and anything, but just to let the mind wander. its a beautiful thing. freeing. inspiring. uninhibiting. the mind has no boundaries and yet all too often we try to restrain it. conform it. guide it in the "right" direction.
as i let my mind wander i find myself reflecting on the insanity the last few days have been. the ugly weather. the rushed walks to catch a train for an interview. the countless hostel roommates and the neverending want for a space of my own. i contemplate how odd it will be to have to go back to work on monday as i have not done such a thing for the past 4 months. and yet it feels just like yesterday that i stopped. at least my nights are no longer filled iwth dreams of my former job that had been so much a part of my life for the past 3 years. i no longer feel myself getting all riled up in frustrations over the politics that once consumed my life. i am free from those chains and are only now bound by the memories and relationships of my former co-workers and clients that i hold dear.
i also find myself thinking about where my travels have taken me thus far. what started out as a single idea in my mind years ago has now become my reality and it is so much more than what i can possibly imagin. as wierd as it is to constantly be bombarded with new places, faces, experiences and as stressful as it has beeen whether losing my trail in the middle of BCs mountains, breaking my camera, wandering the streets of portland, oregon, or attempting to find both a job and place to live in at one of the most saught after places in the world - i am at peace. its that feeling that comes from deep down within that i know that no matter what the day brings, i am where i am supposed to be in life. i am on the right path, if you will. i only wish more people out there had the drive and will to go after their dream. their path. their place in life.
as i think about my journey, i find myself reflecting on my experiences of transportation. every place i have been to has a different mode, different way, different culture about getting from point A to point B. in calgary, canada, the train system is above ground and it is more common for people to drive their own car than to take a taxi. if you dont know how to get somewhere, it can be a pain to figure out the transit routes online as you have to do it all manually. in edmonton, however, a person can type in their location and desired destination and the computer will automatically calculate which buses and trains to take. their train system, on the otherhand is primarily underground. i can remember countless times attempting to ride the train in edmonton and getting lost as the underground tunnels would guide me to exit points sometimes blocks away from the actual train station. of course - that WAS my first experience on an underground transit system.
over in nelson, BC, they still have a tram car that will take people along a route almost the entire length of the small city. in vancouver and victoria, ferries are the way to go. countless routes will transport people and vehicles to different points around vancouver island, down the coast of BC and even in to the states. vancouvers train system is one to be admired - its various lines consist of completely computerized train cars. there are no drivers, the train doors automatically open and close and the train will adjust its speed as needed in order to stay on schedule. finally, vancouver is one of the best cities i have been too for when it comes to cycling access on roads. almost all the road there will have a cycling lane and so many people cycle to and from work and simply around the city that it has actually been debated that it might now be becoming a problem.
in comparison, new york city, USA uses taxis like vancouver has bikes. the mass of yellow metal can be seen stretching all the way down the length of any street and should a person attempt to cross the street in front of a cab, i have actually experienced the drivers speed up as though they are aiming to hit me. i found the situation to be slightly such as that leapfrog computer game where you have to get your player across the river that is constantly moving along with debris and other fun things. new york also has one of the most elaborate subway systems that i have ever experienced - their subway lines criss-cross underground on multiple levels to the point where one could be perfectly happy spending days exploring the underground rail experience. that city was also my first introduction to having to scan my train pass through a machine in order to let me through the gate.
the USA also runs a great railway system that allows people to access any portion of their country for a cheap fair. unlike canadas VIA rail that simply goes east to west and back again, the USAs amtrak is an intricate system so welly established that it is even cheaper than riding the bus most times! plus, with more legroom, eating cars and sleeping cars, it can make a long distance journey incredibly relaxing and scenic.
.... and there are no words for the complexity that is LAX. i will just leave it as that. those that have been know what i mean - those that havent.... avoid it like the plague.
when i was in mexico, i learned and entirely different form of transportation - the honk-your-horn-for-anything (even if its just to inform others that your back is itchy) and drive in whichever lane you wish.... whether or not it is going in the direction you are. there was one particular instance i remember where the driver of our taxi bus decided to pass the vehicle ahead of us by pulling out into the left lane. it was all good, but the driver was apparently in no rush to get back into our actual lane and before long someone came barrelling down the road in the opposite direction. our direction. towards us. in front of us. all i could do was hold my breath and grit my teeth (i dont think that helped) as the guy opposite us managed to squeeze his vehicle onto the barely-there shoulder of the road in order to avoid collision. eventually our driver pulled back into our appropriate lane without a sweat. i was just glad to have avoided the almost near-death experience.
during another time in mexico, me and my friends decided to take the public transportation as it was cheaper than a cab. we hopped on the bus and sat down on the plastic seats only to find shortly after that the city bus system was also used by the locals to sell products, promote their religious beliefs, play their musical instruments for money and so much more. it was like our own little show-on-the-road... all for maybe $1 USD.
finally - here in sydney, australia, i have been fascinated to find that their train system uses double-decker trains to fill their subway lines. so when a person walks on to grab a seat, they have a choice of going down the stairs or up the stairs. then, to sit down, one is able to move the backseat of the train seats to sit facing either way - so there shouldnt be the issue of being stuck sitting backwards as the train moves. thouroughly inventive if you ask me....
october 11/09
so - as it turned out yesterday, after all my patient waiting - i finally got the call i was waiting for. 2 italian girls here on their working holiday were interested in sharing the 4 bedroom apartment with me and ashley. sweetness. so i made plans to organize a walk-through for today so they could confirm it was what they wanted as well. i called john (the landlord) and he told me the apartment had already been given to someone else. ashley and i had only seen it 2 days ago - friday evening. which meant that someone came in yesterday and put down the deposit. *sigh* back to square one. after all that ashley and i agreed that we would be open to just finding our own rooms at separate locations if that turns out to be easier than trying to find a 2-bedroom place. man, i am just tired of looking.
i ended up going to the bondi markets with ariana and 2 of her friends after checking out a room that wasnt what i was looking for. it was then i got a call from a guy whom i had been trying to contact for a room he had available. all was good untill i quickly figured out that this guy had completely no social skills and ended up yakking my ear off over non-necessities that had nothing to do with the actual apartment. plus, when i FINALLY managed to get the address from the guy, the actual apartment wasnt within walking distance to anything id want to do. not exactly calling "home sweet home" to me. so i declined the offer to live there.
after the bondi markets ariana and i ended up at a park in north bondi that overlooked the city skyline, opera house, harbor bridge and harbor. it was absolutely GORGEOUS and all i could think about was the fact that i had forgotten my camera. sucky. as we sat there in the grass gazing out over the harbor, we spotted an elderly man doing his exercise laps around the field we were on. dressed in a thick sweater, scarf, fingerless gloves and high-waisted brown tweed pants (complete with a crease in the back of the pant leg) he walked past us. we could hear the talk radio he was listening to be blasted from his headphones. his eyes were hidden in the shadows of his old-fashioned golfers hat. just after he past us we noticed he was carrying a wooden rod about 3 feet long. it looked like something one would for a very light-weight curtain.
it was then that it happened. the elderly man stopped, back to us. he lifted up his wooden rod and reached behind him so that it was vertical along his back. he started fiddling with it to the point where i thought he might actually be trying to shove the thing down the back of his pants. fortunately - he didnt. but he did stick it inbetween his belt and pants. his left hand then found the base of it and held it there as he spent the next almost 5 minutes using his right hand to attempt to grasp at the top of the rod (which was at about the height of his head). me and ariana sat there completely dumbfounded and laughing hysterically (he couldnt hear due to his blasting talk show coming from his headphones) as he strained to grasp at the top of the rod. he FINALLY got it and then started walking, right arm tightly gripped to the pole stuck in his pants and his left arm swinging freely. when he got to the end of the field, he switched arms and started back the other way. whether he did this for stretching purposes, strength exercises or maybe it was just another method to practice good posture, we couldn't tell. needless to say, it completely amused the both of us and left us in a fit of giggles.
october 12/09
what am i doing here? REALLY. i am so confused. i have these 2 jobs - one that i start in less than an hour and a half. the other doesnt know if they still want me only for weekends. i went into this whole job search wanting something fun, different and soemthing that would get me money to "survive" in sydney here for the next few months. i found that at ninos. so why am i all dressed in my "corporate attire" in order to go into a sales marketing position - something of which i dont like and am only there because it would be helping the charities and i have the potential to make a lot of money. but why? i dont even care about money and its not even like im working FOR the charity. THAT is something id much rather do.
so i sit here at my halfway point to my first day at work - not at the hostel and not in the city. instead i am at the mall by the train station waiting for the bank to open so i can transfer more money to my australian account. so i can live. so i can have the money to put down on a place to rent.
i think i have made up my mind. i do not need to be working in the sales marketing job. i cringe even with just the knowledge that i could be involved with such a position. regardless of the moeny potential. regardless if the position is even remotely involved with non-for-profit organizations. it is not for me. i would much rather wake up and walk to ninos in my flip-flops and go work at the juice bar on the beach.
****
so i quit the sales marketing thing. in a lot of ways it was actually one of the hardest things ive had to do. in a lot of ways it went against everything that i ever do when it comes to the working industry. i have always made the most "profitable" choice to advancing my "career." i have always chosen jobs that encourage me to push myself into another realm of what i am capable of. i continue to pick the jobs with the most potential for me to do anything i could imagine. but not this time. this time i said "no."
the worst part about doing that was that when i hung up the phone with the main secretary, i immediately got a call from Mark, my would-be boss, who gave me a speal about how he really saw a lot of potential in me and wanted me to be part of his team. he went on for so long about it that he actually brought me to tears as the tormenting confusion started to well up inside me. i hate disappointing someone. i hate walking away from an opportunity in which i had the potential to exceed where i am at already.
even still, i know i made the right choice. from the moment i hung up the phone after saying "no" for the thousandth time, relief flooded over me and the splitting headache i had had only moments before immediately disappeared. i felt good about my decision. i STILL feel good about my decision. sure, i could have had potential to do great things at the sales marketing job, but i have great potential to do awesome things at this juice bar as well. it may not ever take me to be on the path to making a 6-figure salary - but who cares when i am in australia to explore it, live it, be it? i dont need to be on this driven path to "success." i have ALREADY succeeded. i am living my dream and my dream was to come to australia (among other places), get a fun job (ninos) and live by the beach (bondi). i have done that. i am doing that. i will continue to do that.
so now i look forward to tomorrow where i will meet michael (my new boss) at ninos in the morning and sort out my hours/pay, etc. i am excited. it will be something new. something different. something i will be able to wake up and know i will enjoy. which leaves me with today. once i finish with the bank here i will have the day free to just breathe. and maybe, just maybe, i will even find a place to live.
****
well - i have had only partial luck on the home-search today. i found a couple places, one that turned out to be completely and utterly FABULOUS, but is about $30pw over my budget. bummer. then there was the other place. the place of which there certainly arent any words for as i never even got to actually see it. i just had the complete misfortune of picking up the phone to call the guy who was advertising the room. as a standard procedure in the house-hunting buisness, it is common for the person to want to know a little about the potential renter so they ask questions. i am used to that. stating who i am, where im from, why im here and how long i plan to stay, what i like to do, etc. not really brain science.
then theres this guy - mike is his name. he starts asking me what i am looking for in a roommate situation and explains that there would be me, him and another female living in the 3-bedroom apartment. he asks me if i am pretty openminded about other people and situations. i say that i am.... and then things get a little wierd.
he starts asking me if i am attractive. how tall i am. what i look like - curvy, athletic, etc. i skirt past the questions. he asks my sexual preference (which made sense at the time because earlier he had asked if i would be comfortable with the female being bisexual). and THEN he asks if ive ever been part of a living situation in which there are a certain amount of sexual exploration activities going on. those arent his exact words - but im sure you get the idea. i tell him no, but that i dont really care too much what other people are doing so long as it doesnt interfere with my living style or that they dont expect me to jump in whole-heartedly with who-knows-what theyd be doing. he seems to agree with that answer. i ask if i can see the place (i figured i might as well since i had gotten this far into the conversation). he said that we could set up a time in a few hours and asks how id feel about coming to his place for some wine and porn. RIGHT. i tell him i think thats pretty odd considering i have NEVER MET THE GUY. he hems and haws. i had thought he was half-joking up untill this point - just pushing buttons to see what id say. but then he tells me that its probably best that we dont meet up today as he is in a "naughty" mood. i ended the conversation.
after that i had to go down the beach and sink my feet in the sand, watch the waves and breathe in the fresh air - all the while attempting to erase the memories of the odd phone conversation. not exactly something that happens everyday... and will definitely make me hesitate next time someone asks me if im an "open-minded" person.... haha
i dont understand what it is with french people who like to travel so they can "learn english," but then always seem to end up grouping together to babble away in french. its amusing, really. i mean, i understand the whole im-in-a-foreign-country-and-i-dont-speak-the-language deal which makes a person gravitate towards others like them. but my observation comes from the fact that my last 8 hostel roommates have all spoken french and clung together like a heard of cattle. there have been no germans. no asians. no anything other than french. just me and a bunch of french people. i wish i could pick up the language uber fast to know what theyre talking about.
october 10/09
"whatever is meant to be will be." and sometimes making what is meant to be happen is as much about being patient and waiting as it is about going out there to make things happen. i find that an incredibly hard concept for me to swallow - sitting on my hands and waiting for the cards to be dealt. i am a "doer." if i want something - i will go after it with all i got. but what after that? that is the time to wait. to think. to let the answers and optiosn come to me. what i have learned in life is that which is meant to be neither falls in your lap nor does it necessarily automatically come when it is so fiercely pursues. it is a balance - as all good things in life are.
what i am ultimately referring to is my house-hunt. i have come to the place in which i have exhausted all my options and nothing has felt quite right yet. nothing has given me that feeling of bubbling excitement to know that this is the place i am supposed to be. so now it is time to back off a little and see what will come of everything.
ashley (the girl i met at one of my interviews) and i have found a lovely apartment to rent in the heart of bondi junction. within walking distance to everything, fully furnished, clean and in a decent price range - it works. only we need 2-3 other people to share it with as there is no possible way we'd be able to afford it on our own. we have untill monday (2 days from now) to find people. right. the trick is not to find "people," as plenty will pay the money to live in bondi - its finding the RIGHT people. as i said - what is meant to be will be.
so i wait - wait for housing, wait for my barista training, wait for the weather to get nicer, wait for my jobs to start - i sit here and think. i always find it so fascinating just to take the time to think. about everything and anything, but just to let the mind wander. its a beautiful thing. freeing. inspiring. uninhibiting. the mind has no boundaries and yet all too often we try to restrain it. conform it. guide it in the "right" direction.
as i let my mind wander i find myself reflecting on the insanity the last few days have been. the ugly weather. the rushed walks to catch a train for an interview. the countless hostel roommates and the neverending want for a space of my own. i contemplate how odd it will be to have to go back to work on monday as i have not done such a thing for the past 4 months. and yet it feels just like yesterday that i stopped. at least my nights are no longer filled iwth dreams of my former job that had been so much a part of my life for the past 3 years. i no longer feel myself getting all riled up in frustrations over the politics that once consumed my life. i am free from those chains and are only now bound by the memories and relationships of my former co-workers and clients that i hold dear.
i also find myself thinking about where my travels have taken me thus far. what started out as a single idea in my mind years ago has now become my reality and it is so much more than what i can possibly imagin. as wierd as it is to constantly be bombarded with new places, faces, experiences and as stressful as it has beeen whether losing my trail in the middle of BCs mountains, breaking my camera, wandering the streets of portland, oregon, or attempting to find both a job and place to live in at one of the most saught after places in the world - i am at peace. its that feeling that comes from deep down within that i know that no matter what the day brings, i am where i am supposed to be in life. i am on the right path, if you will. i only wish more people out there had the drive and will to go after their dream. their path. their place in life.
as i think about my journey, i find myself reflecting on my experiences of transportation. every place i have been to has a different mode, different way, different culture about getting from point A to point B. in calgary, canada, the train system is above ground and it is more common for people to drive their own car than to take a taxi. if you dont know how to get somewhere, it can be a pain to figure out the transit routes online as you have to do it all manually. in edmonton, however, a person can type in their location and desired destination and the computer will automatically calculate which buses and trains to take. their train system, on the otherhand is primarily underground. i can remember countless times attempting to ride the train in edmonton and getting lost as the underground tunnels would guide me to exit points sometimes blocks away from the actual train station. of course - that WAS my first experience on an underground transit system.
over in nelson, BC, they still have a tram car that will take people along a route almost the entire length of the small city. in vancouver and victoria, ferries are the way to go. countless routes will transport people and vehicles to different points around vancouver island, down the coast of BC and even in to the states. vancouvers train system is one to be admired - its various lines consist of completely computerized train cars. there are no drivers, the train doors automatically open and close and the train will adjust its speed as needed in order to stay on schedule. finally, vancouver is one of the best cities i have been too for when it comes to cycling access on roads. almost all the road there will have a cycling lane and so many people cycle to and from work and simply around the city that it has actually been debated that it might now be becoming a problem.
in comparison, new york city, USA uses taxis like vancouver has bikes. the mass of yellow metal can be seen stretching all the way down the length of any street and should a person attempt to cross the street in front of a cab, i have actually experienced the drivers speed up as though they are aiming to hit me. i found the situation to be slightly such as that leapfrog computer game where you have to get your player across the river that is constantly moving along with debris and other fun things. new york also has one of the most elaborate subway systems that i have ever experienced - their subway lines criss-cross underground on multiple levels to the point where one could be perfectly happy spending days exploring the underground rail experience. that city was also my first introduction to having to scan my train pass through a machine in order to let me through the gate.
the USA also runs a great railway system that allows people to access any portion of their country for a cheap fair. unlike canadas VIA rail that simply goes east to west and back again, the USAs amtrak is an intricate system so welly established that it is even cheaper than riding the bus most times! plus, with more legroom, eating cars and sleeping cars, it can make a long distance journey incredibly relaxing and scenic.
.... and there are no words for the complexity that is LAX. i will just leave it as that. those that have been know what i mean - those that havent.... avoid it like the plague.
when i was in mexico, i learned and entirely different form of transportation - the honk-your-horn-for-anything (even if its just to inform others that your back is itchy) and drive in whichever lane you wish.... whether or not it is going in the direction you are. there was one particular instance i remember where the driver of our taxi bus decided to pass the vehicle ahead of us by pulling out into the left lane. it was all good, but the driver was apparently in no rush to get back into our actual lane and before long someone came barrelling down the road in the opposite direction. our direction. towards us. in front of us. all i could do was hold my breath and grit my teeth (i dont think that helped) as the guy opposite us managed to squeeze his vehicle onto the barely-there shoulder of the road in order to avoid collision. eventually our driver pulled back into our appropriate lane without a sweat. i was just glad to have avoided the almost near-death experience.
during another time in mexico, me and my friends decided to take the public transportation as it was cheaper than a cab. we hopped on the bus and sat down on the plastic seats only to find shortly after that the city bus system was also used by the locals to sell products, promote their religious beliefs, play their musical instruments for money and so much more. it was like our own little show-on-the-road... all for maybe $1 USD.
finally - here in sydney, australia, i have been fascinated to find that their train system uses double-decker trains to fill their subway lines. so when a person walks on to grab a seat, they have a choice of going down the stairs or up the stairs. then, to sit down, one is able to move the backseat of the train seats to sit facing either way - so there shouldnt be the issue of being stuck sitting backwards as the train moves. thouroughly inventive if you ask me....
october 11/09
so - as it turned out yesterday, after all my patient waiting - i finally got the call i was waiting for. 2 italian girls here on their working holiday were interested in sharing the 4 bedroom apartment with me and ashley. sweetness. so i made plans to organize a walk-through for today so they could confirm it was what they wanted as well. i called john (the landlord) and he told me the apartment had already been given to someone else. ashley and i had only seen it 2 days ago - friday evening. which meant that someone came in yesterday and put down the deposit. *sigh* back to square one. after all that ashley and i agreed that we would be open to just finding our own rooms at separate locations if that turns out to be easier than trying to find a 2-bedroom place. man, i am just tired of looking.
i ended up going to the bondi markets with ariana and 2 of her friends after checking out a room that wasnt what i was looking for. it was then i got a call from a guy whom i had been trying to contact for a room he had available. all was good untill i quickly figured out that this guy had completely no social skills and ended up yakking my ear off over non-necessities that had nothing to do with the actual apartment. plus, when i FINALLY managed to get the address from the guy, the actual apartment wasnt within walking distance to anything id want to do. not exactly calling "home sweet home" to me. so i declined the offer to live there.
after the bondi markets ariana and i ended up at a park in north bondi that overlooked the city skyline, opera house, harbor bridge and harbor. it was absolutely GORGEOUS and all i could think about was the fact that i had forgotten my camera. sucky. as we sat there in the grass gazing out over the harbor, we spotted an elderly man doing his exercise laps around the field we were on. dressed in a thick sweater, scarf, fingerless gloves and high-waisted brown tweed pants (complete with a crease in the back of the pant leg) he walked past us. we could hear the talk radio he was listening to be blasted from his headphones. his eyes were hidden in the shadows of his old-fashioned golfers hat. just after he past us we noticed he was carrying a wooden rod about 3 feet long. it looked like something one would for a very light-weight curtain.
it was then that it happened. the elderly man stopped, back to us. he lifted up his wooden rod and reached behind him so that it was vertical along his back. he started fiddling with it to the point where i thought he might actually be trying to shove the thing down the back of his pants. fortunately - he didnt. but he did stick it inbetween his belt and pants. his left hand then found the base of it and held it there as he spent the next almost 5 minutes using his right hand to attempt to grasp at the top of the rod (which was at about the height of his head). me and ariana sat there completely dumbfounded and laughing hysterically (he couldnt hear due to his blasting talk show coming from his headphones) as he strained to grasp at the top of the rod. he FINALLY got it and then started walking, right arm tightly gripped to the pole stuck in his pants and his left arm swinging freely. when he got to the end of the field, he switched arms and started back the other way. whether he did this for stretching purposes, strength exercises or maybe it was just another method to practice good posture, we couldn't tell. needless to say, it completely amused the both of us and left us in a fit of giggles.
october 12/09
what am i doing here? REALLY. i am so confused. i have these 2 jobs - one that i start in less than an hour and a half. the other doesnt know if they still want me only for weekends. i went into this whole job search wanting something fun, different and soemthing that would get me money to "survive" in sydney here for the next few months. i found that at ninos. so why am i all dressed in my "corporate attire" in order to go into a sales marketing position - something of which i dont like and am only there because it would be helping the charities and i have the potential to make a lot of money. but why? i dont even care about money and its not even like im working FOR the charity. THAT is something id much rather do.
so i sit here at my halfway point to my first day at work - not at the hostel and not in the city. instead i am at the mall by the train station waiting for the bank to open so i can transfer more money to my australian account. so i can live. so i can have the money to put down on a place to rent.
i think i have made up my mind. i do not need to be working in the sales marketing job. i cringe even with just the knowledge that i could be involved with such a position. regardless of the moeny potential. regardless if the position is even remotely involved with non-for-profit organizations. it is not for me. i would much rather wake up and walk to ninos in my flip-flops and go work at the juice bar on the beach.
****
so i quit the sales marketing thing. in a lot of ways it was actually one of the hardest things ive had to do. in a lot of ways it went against everything that i ever do when it comes to the working industry. i have always made the most "profitable" choice to advancing my "career." i have always chosen jobs that encourage me to push myself into another realm of what i am capable of. i continue to pick the jobs with the most potential for me to do anything i could imagine. but not this time. this time i said "no."
the worst part about doing that was that when i hung up the phone with the main secretary, i immediately got a call from Mark, my would-be boss, who gave me a speal about how he really saw a lot of potential in me and wanted me to be part of his team. he went on for so long about it that he actually brought me to tears as the tormenting confusion started to well up inside me. i hate disappointing someone. i hate walking away from an opportunity in which i had the potential to exceed where i am at already.
even still, i know i made the right choice. from the moment i hung up the phone after saying "no" for the thousandth time, relief flooded over me and the splitting headache i had had only moments before immediately disappeared. i felt good about my decision. i STILL feel good about my decision. sure, i could have had potential to do great things at the sales marketing job, but i have great potential to do awesome things at this juice bar as well. it may not ever take me to be on the path to making a 6-figure salary - but who cares when i am in australia to explore it, live it, be it? i dont need to be on this driven path to "success." i have ALREADY succeeded. i am living my dream and my dream was to come to australia (among other places), get a fun job (ninos) and live by the beach (bondi). i have done that. i am doing that. i will continue to do that.
so now i look forward to tomorrow where i will meet michael (my new boss) at ninos in the morning and sort out my hours/pay, etc. i am excited. it will be something new. something different. something i will be able to wake up and know i will enjoy. which leaves me with today. once i finish with the bank here i will have the day free to just breathe. and maybe, just maybe, i will even find a place to live.
****
well - i have had only partial luck on the home-search today. i found a couple places, one that turned out to be completely and utterly FABULOUS, but is about $30pw over my budget. bummer. then there was the other place. the place of which there certainly arent any words for as i never even got to actually see it. i just had the complete misfortune of picking up the phone to call the guy who was advertising the room. as a standard procedure in the house-hunting buisness, it is common for the person to want to know a little about the potential renter so they ask questions. i am used to that. stating who i am, where im from, why im here and how long i plan to stay, what i like to do, etc. not really brain science.
then theres this guy - mike is his name. he starts asking me what i am looking for in a roommate situation and explains that there would be me, him and another female living in the 3-bedroom apartment. he asks me if i am pretty openminded about other people and situations. i say that i am.... and then things get a little wierd.
he starts asking me if i am attractive. how tall i am. what i look like - curvy, athletic, etc. i skirt past the questions. he asks my sexual preference (which made sense at the time because earlier he had asked if i would be comfortable with the female being bisexual). and THEN he asks if ive ever been part of a living situation in which there are a certain amount of sexual exploration activities going on. those arent his exact words - but im sure you get the idea. i tell him no, but that i dont really care too much what other people are doing so long as it doesnt interfere with my living style or that they dont expect me to jump in whole-heartedly with who-knows-what theyd be doing. he seems to agree with that answer. i ask if i can see the place (i figured i might as well since i had gotten this far into the conversation). he said that we could set up a time in a few hours and asks how id feel about coming to his place for some wine and porn. RIGHT. i tell him i think thats pretty odd considering i have NEVER MET THE GUY. he hems and haws. i had thought he was half-joking up untill this point - just pushing buttons to see what id say. but then he tells me that its probably best that we dont meet up today as he is in a "naughty" mood. i ended the conversation.
after that i had to go down the beach and sink my feet in the sand, watch the waves and breathe in the fresh air - all the while attempting to erase the memories of the odd phone conversation. not exactly something that happens everyday... and will definitely make me hesitate next time someone asks me if im an "open-minded" person.... haha
home sweet home
october 7/09
what a day. *sigh* and it isnt over yet. i did start it off with a run on the beach and today i noticed that i am getting stronger at running in the sand. it was great. my state of euphoria didnt last very long as i came back to the hostel. that was due to a lovely phone conversation with a representative of my bank back in canada.
i needed to sort out why my bank card hasnt been working for the past couple week so i made the call. the guy on the other end informed me that, yes, my card had been frozen due to some irregular activity related to potential fraud. joy. the only way i could fix this was to apparently go to a BMO ATM machine and change the pin #. i kindly reminded him that because i am in australia and have no intentions of hoping on the next plane home - i dont exactly have ability to get to a BMO ATM machine. its not as if i have inspector gadget arms or anything. i wish.
i asked if there was another option of unfreezing my account such as changing my pin # over the phone. the guy at the other end refused to open his mind. he wouldnt budge. i dont know what he thought. its not as if ive got a palm tree over here shaking out $100 bills every 5 seconds that i would have no pressing need to access my funds from canada. its not as if i have income over here yet. its not as if i even have an australian bank account. okay - i DO have that - but i dont have the card yet. i mean, even if i DID fly back to canada to change the stupid pin # - the money id have to use for the plane ticket is in the account that is frozen. so i dont know what the guy thought. maybe he doesnt travel much. or maybe hes made of money. or maybe lifes little issues such as these never pass through his little brain for him to come up with another brilliant idea of how he could help me. instead he got all aggitated at me that i could be asking about my options.
i hung up feeling completely baffled and frustrated. a few minutes later i decided to call again and try my luck with another "customer service representative." the next guy heard my speal and responded in giving me the same line that the last guy gave me. so i explained again. I AM IN AUSTRALIA. I CANT ACCESS ANY BMO-RELATED ATM MACHINE. I NEED THE MONEY ON MY CARD. sheesh. it was like trying to talk to those automated telephone people that ask you to speak your request into the phone and yet they never seem to understand what it is that you are talking and you end up yelling one-worded answers into the mouthpiece as though you have spontaneously been promoted to seargant among the next up-and-coming army of phones. right.
i finally got through to this second guy. he hooked my account through my credit card and sent another debit card to my address back in canada. which is precisely what they should have done in the first place. the whole thing was a royal pain in the butt if you ask me.
my day continued with that theme as i moved on to try and look for a place to live more longterm. for those who have never been here or dont know, bondi is a suburb of sydney that is fairly pricey due to its location being right on the beach. as a person goes inland, the price for accommodation lowers. pretty simple and straightforward. the issue im coming across is trying to find a house share property. these properties are places where a handful - sometimes up to 10-12 - people can share for cheaper. what they neglect to mention fully is the condition of which these 10-12 people are living in. generally rooms are crammed with 2-3 cots so multiple people to share. and even then each person is paying generally more than a one-bedroom apartment in a primary location of calgary. AND its not even as though these places are upkept and clean. i have yet to see one that doesnt have me immediately worried about bedbugs or cockroaches. gross.
so today, as it were, i went to check out a place at coogee beach that is a couple beaches down from bondi and said to be cheaper. an hour later (and me thinking theres no possible way ill be able to commute to work from there) i made it. the guy showed me the room and then stated the price in the ad was for if i was willing to share the small room. if i wanted it to myself id be looking at $220 - PER WEEK. i can only imagine what the landlords make in this city. that $220 didnt consider that there would be 2-3 other people living in that same appartment and be paying close what i was paying. and the place was STILL a dump. go figure.
the hunt continues....
october 8/09
yet another chilly day in what is supposed to be paradise. today i woke up with the wind pounding on the window, my eye mask covering only one eye as if i were subconciously trying to make a new pirate fad and my earplugs were nowhere to be found (i found one bright green foamy ball on the other side of the room later on - the 2nd one never to be found again). i was not looking forward to today.
still without housing and my only job as a barista was garanteed so long as i complete the barista training certificate on saturday - i was dreading going to another interview on this frigid day. yes - i may be in sydney - but it was frigid. as it were, there was nothing else TO do but go to my interview - i had spent hours on the computer yesterday searching for affordable housing with no success. so i rolled my butt out of bed and made my way to the train station (20 min walk) in order to get to the city. somehow i ended up purchasing 2 train tickets, costing me over $13 and with no refund option at the machine, i was left wishing i had a twin i could send to the interview and then i could do something more fun such as check out all the cool shops on george street. unfortunately, my other half didnt magically appear so i was left holding 2 tickets for the train and hoping that the interview would make it worth the ridiculous price.
i arrived at the location windblown and bleary-eyed. i felt completely unprepared for the interview. i had forgotten my resume back at the hostel. it turned out to be a group interview and i felt completely underdressed. then - instead of being interviewed for a customer service representative as i thought it was for (you know, sit behind a desk and answer phones all day) it turned out i was being interviewed to do face-2-face interactions with people in order to sell/promote the company and encourage people to come aboard through donations. i think. its all very fuzzy to me. they said something about raising money to support humanitarian/environmental non-for-profit organizations and then they lost me as my mind started ranting to itself inside my head.
for one - this was obviously a company of some sort that prided itself over profiting from charitable donations. so where was this money coming from? and how is it that people can make so much money off of this when the need for the money is so desperately (and understandably) needed for what these charities and organizations do?? how is this fair? how could i possibly take a job in a place that would support such a corporate way of thinking? but i did. i was curious. i wanted to know more about how it all worked.
but they didnt really tell us. they just asked a bunch of generic questions in the group interview and then sent us all home relatively confused about what we had actually applied to do. apparently those "fit" for the position would be called later in the day.
as it were, i ended up meeting 3 other ladies who were in the same position as me - had just come to sydney and were looking for both a job and a place to live. the catch being that we all wanted to live next to the beach. we decided we'd put our heads together and find a house to rent, rather than continue to look for separate rooms as we had all experienced what they had looked like. at least with renting a whole house we would know who was being a part of it and we could start from fresh as the place would have to be cleaned prior.
so i went back to my hostel and checked out online - immediately finding a place that had 4 bedrooms and was considerably affordable. i contacted all the girls. one backed out - she didnt really want to move right away. so i kept looking for places and found a 2-bedroom. i went to check it out, met zelda - a south african woman in the same situation as me and these new-found friends i knew. i recruited her as our new fourth. the 2-bedroom place sucked. it was more like a hole-in-the-wall with a fridge and toilet. joy. so the 4-bedroom place continued as planned. i got back to the hostel and another girl backed out. we were back down to 3 -- me, ashley and zelda.
later on i ran out of phone minutes and had to recharge it. the catch being that the phone company doesnt accept foreign credit cards. joy. so then i had to set up my new australian debit/credit card online so that i could add minutes to my phone. i had just gotten my new card today. i went to register my online account and i couldnt do it. it wouldnt accept the password. that meant i had to call THEM to get it sorted out. but i didnt have minutes on my phone. all i could do was laugh.
so i ended up running down the street to the convenience store to get a phone voucher to charge my phone to call the bank to set up the bank account. whew.
i FINALLY got everything all sorted out and then i got a call saying i got accepted for a second interview with the company i have no idea really what they do. yippee. i think...
october 9/09
so now i have 2 jobs. i went back for a second interview at the place i knew nothing about and found out theyre a marketing company hired by charity organizations to help attract in people that will support the charity through donations. so all those booths seen in malls, at major events and so on that are advertizing for organizations such as oxfam, amnesty international and unicef - THATS the job i got. oh yeah - i DID get hired. sweetness.
and through all this learning i stand corrected about my issue with people getting paid so high for that type of work. as it turns out, the pay is only a fraction of what the charity/organization is getting for the promotion we do for them. it only makes sense for it to be commission based - as why should a non-for-profit organization be expected to pay us if we are not bringing in the donations they so desperately need? they would only end up losing money. its all about the bigger picture i guess.
my question then comes down to: if all these marketing schemes are so cost-effective for non-profit organizations and the marketing schemes are bringing in so many donations from the public - why is it that it is so rare to hear about positive changes going on in the world? when was the last tiem manyone heard that the rates of poverty, disease, abuse and hunger had gone down? has there being significant change or is there always simply some new problem to fix? i suppose that is what i am about to find out.
so i got that job. and dont ask me what the company is called because i have plain forgotten. i also have the job at ninos (i know i previously wrote: nicos, but its not - its ninos) - i have to do the barista training tomorrow. should be interesting.
now all i need is a place to call home....
what a day. *sigh* and it isnt over yet. i did start it off with a run on the beach and today i noticed that i am getting stronger at running in the sand. it was great. my state of euphoria didnt last very long as i came back to the hostel. that was due to a lovely phone conversation with a representative of my bank back in canada.
i needed to sort out why my bank card hasnt been working for the past couple week so i made the call. the guy on the other end informed me that, yes, my card had been frozen due to some irregular activity related to potential fraud. joy. the only way i could fix this was to apparently go to a BMO ATM machine and change the pin #. i kindly reminded him that because i am in australia and have no intentions of hoping on the next plane home - i dont exactly have ability to get to a BMO ATM machine. its not as if i have inspector gadget arms or anything. i wish.
i asked if there was another option of unfreezing my account such as changing my pin # over the phone. the guy at the other end refused to open his mind. he wouldnt budge. i dont know what he thought. its not as if ive got a palm tree over here shaking out $100 bills every 5 seconds that i would have no pressing need to access my funds from canada. its not as if i have income over here yet. its not as if i even have an australian bank account. okay - i DO have that - but i dont have the card yet. i mean, even if i DID fly back to canada to change the stupid pin # - the money id have to use for the plane ticket is in the account that is frozen. so i dont know what the guy thought. maybe he doesnt travel much. or maybe hes made of money. or maybe lifes little issues such as these never pass through his little brain for him to come up with another brilliant idea of how he could help me. instead he got all aggitated at me that i could be asking about my options.
i hung up feeling completely baffled and frustrated. a few minutes later i decided to call again and try my luck with another "customer service representative." the next guy heard my speal and responded in giving me the same line that the last guy gave me. so i explained again. I AM IN AUSTRALIA. I CANT ACCESS ANY BMO-RELATED ATM MACHINE. I NEED THE MONEY ON MY CARD. sheesh. it was like trying to talk to those automated telephone people that ask you to speak your request into the phone and yet they never seem to understand what it is that you are talking and you end up yelling one-worded answers into the mouthpiece as though you have spontaneously been promoted to seargant among the next up-and-coming army of phones. right.
i finally got through to this second guy. he hooked my account through my credit card and sent another debit card to my address back in canada. which is precisely what they should have done in the first place. the whole thing was a royal pain in the butt if you ask me.
my day continued with that theme as i moved on to try and look for a place to live more longterm. for those who have never been here or dont know, bondi is a suburb of sydney that is fairly pricey due to its location being right on the beach. as a person goes inland, the price for accommodation lowers. pretty simple and straightforward. the issue im coming across is trying to find a house share property. these properties are places where a handful - sometimes up to 10-12 - people can share for cheaper. what they neglect to mention fully is the condition of which these 10-12 people are living in. generally rooms are crammed with 2-3 cots so multiple people to share. and even then each person is paying generally more than a one-bedroom apartment in a primary location of calgary. AND its not even as though these places are upkept and clean. i have yet to see one that doesnt have me immediately worried about bedbugs or cockroaches. gross.
so today, as it were, i went to check out a place at coogee beach that is a couple beaches down from bondi and said to be cheaper. an hour later (and me thinking theres no possible way ill be able to commute to work from there) i made it. the guy showed me the room and then stated the price in the ad was for if i was willing to share the small room. if i wanted it to myself id be looking at $220 - PER WEEK. i can only imagine what the landlords make in this city. that $220 didnt consider that there would be 2-3 other people living in that same appartment and be paying close what i was paying. and the place was STILL a dump. go figure.
the hunt continues....
october 8/09
yet another chilly day in what is supposed to be paradise. today i woke up with the wind pounding on the window, my eye mask covering only one eye as if i were subconciously trying to make a new pirate fad and my earplugs were nowhere to be found (i found one bright green foamy ball on the other side of the room later on - the 2nd one never to be found again). i was not looking forward to today.
still without housing and my only job as a barista was garanteed so long as i complete the barista training certificate on saturday - i was dreading going to another interview on this frigid day. yes - i may be in sydney - but it was frigid. as it were, there was nothing else TO do but go to my interview - i had spent hours on the computer yesterday searching for affordable housing with no success. so i rolled my butt out of bed and made my way to the train station (20 min walk) in order to get to the city. somehow i ended up purchasing 2 train tickets, costing me over $13 and with no refund option at the machine, i was left wishing i had a twin i could send to the interview and then i could do something more fun such as check out all the cool shops on george street. unfortunately, my other half didnt magically appear so i was left holding 2 tickets for the train and hoping that the interview would make it worth the ridiculous price.
i arrived at the location windblown and bleary-eyed. i felt completely unprepared for the interview. i had forgotten my resume back at the hostel. it turned out to be a group interview and i felt completely underdressed. then - instead of being interviewed for a customer service representative as i thought it was for (you know, sit behind a desk and answer phones all day) it turned out i was being interviewed to do face-2-face interactions with people in order to sell/promote the company and encourage people to come aboard through donations. i think. its all very fuzzy to me. they said something about raising money to support humanitarian/environmental non-for-profit organizations and then they lost me as my mind started ranting to itself inside my head.
for one - this was obviously a company of some sort that prided itself over profiting from charitable donations. so where was this money coming from? and how is it that people can make so much money off of this when the need for the money is so desperately (and understandably) needed for what these charities and organizations do?? how is this fair? how could i possibly take a job in a place that would support such a corporate way of thinking? but i did. i was curious. i wanted to know more about how it all worked.
but they didnt really tell us. they just asked a bunch of generic questions in the group interview and then sent us all home relatively confused about what we had actually applied to do. apparently those "fit" for the position would be called later in the day.
as it were, i ended up meeting 3 other ladies who were in the same position as me - had just come to sydney and were looking for both a job and a place to live. the catch being that we all wanted to live next to the beach. we decided we'd put our heads together and find a house to rent, rather than continue to look for separate rooms as we had all experienced what they had looked like. at least with renting a whole house we would know who was being a part of it and we could start from fresh as the place would have to be cleaned prior.
so i went back to my hostel and checked out online - immediately finding a place that had 4 bedrooms and was considerably affordable. i contacted all the girls. one backed out - she didnt really want to move right away. so i kept looking for places and found a 2-bedroom. i went to check it out, met zelda - a south african woman in the same situation as me and these new-found friends i knew. i recruited her as our new fourth. the 2-bedroom place sucked. it was more like a hole-in-the-wall with a fridge and toilet. joy. so the 4-bedroom place continued as planned. i got back to the hostel and another girl backed out. we were back down to 3 -- me, ashley and zelda.
later on i ran out of phone minutes and had to recharge it. the catch being that the phone company doesnt accept foreign credit cards. joy. so then i had to set up my new australian debit/credit card online so that i could add minutes to my phone. i had just gotten my new card today. i went to register my online account and i couldnt do it. it wouldnt accept the password. that meant i had to call THEM to get it sorted out. but i didnt have minutes on my phone. all i could do was laugh.
so i ended up running down the street to the convenience store to get a phone voucher to charge my phone to call the bank to set up the bank account. whew.
i FINALLY got everything all sorted out and then i got a call saying i got accepted for a second interview with the company i have no idea really what they do. yippee. i think...
october 9/09
so now i have 2 jobs. i went back for a second interview at the place i knew nothing about and found out theyre a marketing company hired by charity organizations to help attract in people that will support the charity through donations. so all those booths seen in malls, at major events and so on that are advertizing for organizations such as oxfam, amnesty international and unicef - THATS the job i got. oh yeah - i DID get hired. sweetness.
and through all this learning i stand corrected about my issue with people getting paid so high for that type of work. as it turns out, the pay is only a fraction of what the charity/organization is getting for the promotion we do for them. it only makes sense for it to be commission based - as why should a non-for-profit organization be expected to pay us if we are not bringing in the donations they so desperately need? they would only end up losing money. its all about the bigger picture i guess.
my question then comes down to: if all these marketing schemes are so cost-effective for non-profit organizations and the marketing schemes are bringing in so many donations from the public - why is it that it is so rare to hear about positive changes going on in the world? when was the last tiem manyone heard that the rates of poverty, disease, abuse and hunger had gone down? has there being significant change or is there always simply some new problem to fix? i suppose that is what i am about to find out.
so i got that job. and dont ask me what the company is called because i have plain forgotten. i also have the job at ninos (i know i previously wrote: nicos, but its not - its ninos) - i have to do the barista training tomorrow. should be interesting.
now all i need is a place to call home....
life's little necessities
october 1/09
yet again another hostel - ive found that its getting easier to get into the swing of things. new place, new bed, new sheets. its taken me a bit of time to master the skill of making my bed when on the top bunk, but i think i have done it. all my sheets tucked in i again reflect on how odd it is to spend the night with 5 other strangers - sometimes female, sometimes male. i have been fortunate enough to catch my zzz's with women rather than men but im sure that experience will come soon enough. even so, there is an oddity in having one of the most intimate parts of a persons day (or rather night) openly viewed upon by other people who may or may not even know each others names. sometimes i dont even meet the people i sleep with at all - they are but a lumpy shape under a thin sheet that came late in the night. there was one time i woke up in the morning and had to ask my roommate if she had heard anyone come in during the night. we both were not sure.
anyway - with all the people i have met so far in australia, i find that a majority of the people seem to be from germany, canada or new zealand. i found that interesting and surprising that so many from germany have travelled down under. learn something new everyday i suppose.
from what i hear, tomorrow, saturday and sunday are supposed to rain. it will be interesting to see if the rain is as cold as it is when in calgary because i can tell you that the ocean water sure is! it completely surprised me in how cold the ocean was today - brought back flashback memories of attempting to "shower" in the glacier rivers of the rocky mountains only a couple months back. not exactly what id expect of australia - though i suppose it IS only spring here.
needless to say, tomorrow will be a big day of job hunting. im crossing my fingers ill make more progress than the last day - that and that maybe my foot will be all better. im itching to run and its killed me that i didnt the past few days.
back to bondi - its kind of like the banff of the beach world as i see it. instead of towering mountains, there is a vaste ocean. instead of walking in the snow and hearing it crunch under your feet - you can feel the sand between your toes. you get raccoon eyes from sunglasses = not ski goggles. tourist shops sell flip flops - not toques. people walk around looking like the poster person for a beach resort where as in banff everyone looks made to hike. both so much the same, both so different - none are better.
october 2/09
another day in bondi. another day of job hunting. draining. tiring. completely and utterly frustrating. and just when i thought id run out of options - i met one of my roommates from the hostel. turns out krista, from california, works down at bronte beach which is about a 20 min walk from bondi beach. she told me to check it out because not only is nico's looking for people now but krista is planning to leave in a month so her hours would be up for grabs. so i went there and gave them my resume (or a CV as it is referred to here) - along with all the other coffee bars along that stretch.
2 hours later all the calls of the world came in. i got a "trial run" at a coffee place in bronte, one at nico's and an interview at fitness first to be a sales consultant. i also got a call to be a live-in nanny for a family of 4 boys. well - not so much a "nanny" as a second set of hands for the mom who stays home as well. ill meet her tomorrow - everything else has been crammed in for tuesday. its funny how things work. now im stuck with the issue of having to juggle all these job possibilities in order to hopefully get the best pick in the end of all this.
****
jobs, jobs, jobs. its so much wierder i find to be working while travelling. my reasoning behind why im taking the job has changed from wanting to make the "responsible" choice to wanting the "fun" job. i dont want to worry about stress while travelling, i just want something to keep me travelling. so, yes, maybe working with the family would be good in that i get free room and food, but then im isolated from those my age which makes the whole "fun" aspect of my travel adventures limited to the probability of only being myself .... not QUITE what i wanted. then theres doing sales at the fitness centre. yes, theres a high chance of making good money and id get a free membership, but who wants the money when its high pressure commission sales? and whats a gym membership when i get to run on the beach? so that brings me back to the coffee shops. aim high. haha.
i did my first run on the beach today and it was absolutely perfect. i have never had the opportunity to do that before (or never the energy) and have only ever dreamed of doing such a thing. by 7:30 am i took my flip-flop clad feet down to the shoreline. flip-flops off and i was ready to go. i joined the handful of other people running on the wet sand as the waters licked our feet. most were running in their swimmers (aka: swim suits) - all in bare feet. as i sweated to britney spears (dont knock it untill you try it), i could hear the waves crashing along side of me. i ran the long stretch of white sand back and forth, back and forth, passing those practicing their morning yoga routines on the sand. i went untill i couldnt breathe any longer and then i went some more. i was hooked. sometimes the waves washed over my feet, splashing up my legs, numbing the skin and sometimes my feet pounded the distance, creating a whole new style for "footprints in the sand." when i was done i joined the handful of others who were sitting in the sand meditating. i closed my eyes and did the same, feeling completely at peace and calm in mind, body and spirit.
the fresh air.
the waves.
the seagulls.
the sun.
the breeze.
i took it all in. felt it. breathed it. i was it. for that moment in time everything felt completely natural. real. organic. i loved it.
for that, i cant wait for tomorrow morning. i feel like a child on christmas eve. it is only shortly passed 7pm and i am already wanting to go to bed just so the morning will come quicker. i dont care that 3 of my hostel roomies are going out on the town partyintg. i dont care that its friday night - the night to do something. ANYTHING. i have found something greater that none of these girls here i room with could understand. and thats okay. so tonight, instead, i merely wait anxiously for my roommates to hurry up and beautify themselves so they can disappear to the world of drunks and i can sleep.
october 3/09
turns out it decided to rain today. cloudy, windy and cold, the ocean waves are twice as large today. i skipped the run and decided to take a rest day. not like i was too happy with that decision. now im restless and probably will be for the remainder of the day. it may be a good day to hang out at the mall. i have to get a few things for my potential jobs anyway. fun, fun, fun.
i checked out of my hostel today and walked on over to my next one. i am hoping the next place i stay after this hostel will be more permanent. i am getting slightly tired of living completely out of my bag when i know i will be sticking around for a while. i would like to have a bit of my own space to settle in for a few months. plus, it is not as though i am entirely thrilled with being surrounded by a bunch of drunk travellers all the time (gotta love hostels). i mean, really - what is the point?
that is one of the few things in life i have never been able to understand. what is the point of going out to drink, get hammered, trashed, plastered - or however else you want to call it? its not like any word used to mask the reality of the situation can make the process of getting drunk any more fun or cool. really, think about it. alcohol tastes bad (dont tell me otherwise - it doesnt compare in the least to a bowl of ice cream). its expensive. theres all this pressure to binge drink (come on - REALLY?) in which the result usually consists of someone holding another persons hair back as they puke it out in the toilet. and all for what? make a few friends? have fun? take the edge off? is this the BEST idea people have come up with? REALLY?! i mean - granted, i have had my handful of times where i have gotten drunk, but thats it. no joke. i can count on one hand the number of times. i honestly find the whole activity slightly boring and annoying. i dont have much sympathy for those who are hungover and complaining of the noise level at 10 in the morning. *sigh*
i find it hard not to judge those who drop hundreds of dollars every weekend for a good time. what happened to board games, extreme sports, and watching movies? what happened to just going out to DANCE? whats happened to people that alcohol is "needed" in order to have a good time? i just dont get it.
****
the day of rain is almost over (the day, not the rain - that still continues) and i am beat. i went to an interview to work with the family of 4 boys - walked there in the pouring rain and ended up looking like a very drowned rat.
i then went to the mall to try and figure out if i could find some cheap buys to help me sell myself in my interviews to come. that simply resulted in me wandering aimlessly untill i found the doughnut shop. YUM! i then made my way to the internet cafe to do some more job hunting and house hunting. and by "house hunting" i really mean looking for a cheap mattress to rent in which there will most like be 5-6 people (on average) already living in the one flat - not necessarily in 5-6 separate rooms.
i opened up my email and found myself staring at 2 new job posibilities - both happening to be in the modelling industry. one for a private photographer looking to expand their skills and the other an agency that provides models to be used for sales, marketing and promotions. i found them both intriguing as i always have a blast playing around with my own camera - modeling is something ive always been intrigued to try. so we will see what happens with that.
as it stands, my brain is in a fog. there has been so much going on in the past few days, it is hard to even keep up. im excited but also nervous to see what the next week brings as there will be some major decisions to be made. even tomorrow - the possibility of finding a place to rent looms ahead as i will spend the day checking out properties in and around the bondi area.
as for now - i try to dry off and warm up in my hostel. my 3 other roommates (all from france) are busy doing the same. the rain has chilled us. even with that common ground, its still wierd to be in a room full of women speaking and not being able to understand a word theyre saying. fortunately they will occassionally switch to english which can be a refreshing surprise.
october 6/09
3 interviews done. 1 to go. i got a bit of time to kill before my last one for fitness first and im debating if i even feel like going at all. the first place i went to this morning, nico's said they could pretty much garantee me fulltime hours if i went to do the barista course offered in sydney. sweetness. that was all i needed to hear. the second coffee place i skipped as they were right beside nicos and seemed a little more uptight in their buisness proceedings (the manager had hesitated giving me a chance because i had on my resume that the last time i worked in the restaurant industry was 4 years ago. right - its not like its that hard to pick up again). i then went to what i thought was my "modelling" interview. turns out it was for a position to sell automotive packages from midas to people. eww. so - im just waiting for my 4 interview. i already have doubts about wanting to take it. theres something about being able to work in a fun juice/coffe bar off the beach that just sounds plain appealling to me. but hey - gotta keep my options open.
same goes for the house hunting. i really havent found anything i love. turns out that most people who rent from house shares commonly share the bedrooms as well. this means its a house set up more like a hostel with 2-3 people per room... every place i went to so far is a complete pigsty - dirty dishes, dirty floor, things tossed everywhere. gross. id rather pay to stay in a hostel if thats a case. so the hunt for a room continues. i am determined. i know i will find one...
... now if only my bank account would work. they have officially frozen my account which means all i have access to is my credit cards and the minor $25 cash i have in my wallet. not exactly the best situation when i am looking at dropping a couple hundred in order to secure a room that i hopefully can find to stay in for the next few months. geez, louise. so now i need to call the bank... THAT should go over well....
yet again another hostel - ive found that its getting easier to get into the swing of things. new place, new bed, new sheets. its taken me a bit of time to master the skill of making my bed when on the top bunk, but i think i have done it. all my sheets tucked in i again reflect on how odd it is to spend the night with 5 other strangers - sometimes female, sometimes male. i have been fortunate enough to catch my zzz's with women rather than men but im sure that experience will come soon enough. even so, there is an oddity in having one of the most intimate parts of a persons day (or rather night) openly viewed upon by other people who may or may not even know each others names. sometimes i dont even meet the people i sleep with at all - they are but a lumpy shape under a thin sheet that came late in the night. there was one time i woke up in the morning and had to ask my roommate if she had heard anyone come in during the night. we both were not sure.
anyway - with all the people i have met so far in australia, i find that a majority of the people seem to be from germany, canada or new zealand. i found that interesting and surprising that so many from germany have travelled down under. learn something new everyday i suppose.
from what i hear, tomorrow, saturday and sunday are supposed to rain. it will be interesting to see if the rain is as cold as it is when in calgary because i can tell you that the ocean water sure is! it completely surprised me in how cold the ocean was today - brought back flashback memories of attempting to "shower" in the glacier rivers of the rocky mountains only a couple months back. not exactly what id expect of australia - though i suppose it IS only spring here.
needless to say, tomorrow will be a big day of job hunting. im crossing my fingers ill make more progress than the last day - that and that maybe my foot will be all better. im itching to run and its killed me that i didnt the past few days.
back to bondi - its kind of like the banff of the beach world as i see it. instead of towering mountains, there is a vaste ocean. instead of walking in the snow and hearing it crunch under your feet - you can feel the sand between your toes. you get raccoon eyes from sunglasses = not ski goggles. tourist shops sell flip flops - not toques. people walk around looking like the poster person for a beach resort where as in banff everyone looks made to hike. both so much the same, both so different - none are better.
october 2/09
another day in bondi. another day of job hunting. draining. tiring. completely and utterly frustrating. and just when i thought id run out of options - i met one of my roommates from the hostel. turns out krista, from california, works down at bronte beach which is about a 20 min walk from bondi beach. she told me to check it out because not only is nico's looking for people now but krista is planning to leave in a month so her hours would be up for grabs. so i went there and gave them my resume (or a CV as it is referred to here) - along with all the other coffee bars along that stretch.
2 hours later all the calls of the world came in. i got a "trial run" at a coffee place in bronte, one at nico's and an interview at fitness first to be a sales consultant. i also got a call to be a live-in nanny for a family of 4 boys. well - not so much a "nanny" as a second set of hands for the mom who stays home as well. ill meet her tomorrow - everything else has been crammed in for tuesday. its funny how things work. now im stuck with the issue of having to juggle all these job possibilities in order to hopefully get the best pick in the end of all this.
****
jobs, jobs, jobs. its so much wierder i find to be working while travelling. my reasoning behind why im taking the job has changed from wanting to make the "responsible" choice to wanting the "fun" job. i dont want to worry about stress while travelling, i just want something to keep me travelling. so, yes, maybe working with the family would be good in that i get free room and food, but then im isolated from those my age which makes the whole "fun" aspect of my travel adventures limited to the probability of only being myself .... not QUITE what i wanted. then theres doing sales at the fitness centre. yes, theres a high chance of making good money and id get a free membership, but who wants the money when its high pressure commission sales? and whats a gym membership when i get to run on the beach? so that brings me back to the coffee shops. aim high. haha.
i did my first run on the beach today and it was absolutely perfect. i have never had the opportunity to do that before (or never the energy) and have only ever dreamed of doing such a thing. by 7:30 am i took my flip-flop clad feet down to the shoreline. flip-flops off and i was ready to go. i joined the handful of other people running on the wet sand as the waters licked our feet. most were running in their swimmers (aka: swim suits) - all in bare feet. as i sweated to britney spears (dont knock it untill you try it), i could hear the waves crashing along side of me. i ran the long stretch of white sand back and forth, back and forth, passing those practicing their morning yoga routines on the sand. i went untill i couldnt breathe any longer and then i went some more. i was hooked. sometimes the waves washed over my feet, splashing up my legs, numbing the skin and sometimes my feet pounded the distance, creating a whole new style for "footprints in the sand." when i was done i joined the handful of others who were sitting in the sand meditating. i closed my eyes and did the same, feeling completely at peace and calm in mind, body and spirit.
the fresh air.
the waves.
the seagulls.
the sun.
the breeze.
i took it all in. felt it. breathed it. i was it. for that moment in time everything felt completely natural. real. organic. i loved it.
for that, i cant wait for tomorrow morning. i feel like a child on christmas eve. it is only shortly passed 7pm and i am already wanting to go to bed just so the morning will come quicker. i dont care that 3 of my hostel roomies are going out on the town partyintg. i dont care that its friday night - the night to do something. ANYTHING. i have found something greater that none of these girls here i room with could understand. and thats okay. so tonight, instead, i merely wait anxiously for my roommates to hurry up and beautify themselves so they can disappear to the world of drunks and i can sleep.
october 3/09
turns out it decided to rain today. cloudy, windy and cold, the ocean waves are twice as large today. i skipped the run and decided to take a rest day. not like i was too happy with that decision. now im restless and probably will be for the remainder of the day. it may be a good day to hang out at the mall. i have to get a few things for my potential jobs anyway. fun, fun, fun.
i checked out of my hostel today and walked on over to my next one. i am hoping the next place i stay after this hostel will be more permanent. i am getting slightly tired of living completely out of my bag when i know i will be sticking around for a while. i would like to have a bit of my own space to settle in for a few months. plus, it is not as though i am entirely thrilled with being surrounded by a bunch of drunk travellers all the time (gotta love hostels). i mean, really - what is the point?
that is one of the few things in life i have never been able to understand. what is the point of going out to drink, get hammered, trashed, plastered - or however else you want to call it? its not like any word used to mask the reality of the situation can make the process of getting drunk any more fun or cool. really, think about it. alcohol tastes bad (dont tell me otherwise - it doesnt compare in the least to a bowl of ice cream). its expensive. theres all this pressure to binge drink (come on - REALLY?) in which the result usually consists of someone holding another persons hair back as they puke it out in the toilet. and all for what? make a few friends? have fun? take the edge off? is this the BEST idea people have come up with? REALLY?! i mean - granted, i have had my handful of times where i have gotten drunk, but thats it. no joke. i can count on one hand the number of times. i honestly find the whole activity slightly boring and annoying. i dont have much sympathy for those who are hungover and complaining of the noise level at 10 in the morning. *sigh*
i find it hard not to judge those who drop hundreds of dollars every weekend for a good time. what happened to board games, extreme sports, and watching movies? what happened to just going out to DANCE? whats happened to people that alcohol is "needed" in order to have a good time? i just dont get it.
****
the day of rain is almost over (the day, not the rain - that still continues) and i am beat. i went to an interview to work with the family of 4 boys - walked there in the pouring rain and ended up looking like a very drowned rat.
i then went to the mall to try and figure out if i could find some cheap buys to help me sell myself in my interviews to come. that simply resulted in me wandering aimlessly untill i found the doughnut shop. YUM! i then made my way to the internet cafe to do some more job hunting and house hunting. and by "house hunting" i really mean looking for a cheap mattress to rent in which there will most like be 5-6 people (on average) already living in the one flat - not necessarily in 5-6 separate rooms.
i opened up my email and found myself staring at 2 new job posibilities - both happening to be in the modelling industry. one for a private photographer looking to expand their skills and the other an agency that provides models to be used for sales, marketing and promotions. i found them both intriguing as i always have a blast playing around with my own camera - modeling is something ive always been intrigued to try. so we will see what happens with that.
as it stands, my brain is in a fog. there has been so much going on in the past few days, it is hard to even keep up. im excited but also nervous to see what the next week brings as there will be some major decisions to be made. even tomorrow - the possibility of finding a place to rent looms ahead as i will spend the day checking out properties in and around the bondi area.
as for now - i try to dry off and warm up in my hostel. my 3 other roommates (all from france) are busy doing the same. the rain has chilled us. even with that common ground, its still wierd to be in a room full of women speaking and not being able to understand a word theyre saying. fortunately they will occassionally switch to english which can be a refreshing surprise.
october 6/09
3 interviews done. 1 to go. i got a bit of time to kill before my last one for fitness first and im debating if i even feel like going at all. the first place i went to this morning, nico's said they could pretty much garantee me fulltime hours if i went to do the barista course offered in sydney. sweetness. that was all i needed to hear. the second coffee place i skipped as they were right beside nicos and seemed a little more uptight in their buisness proceedings (the manager had hesitated giving me a chance because i had on my resume that the last time i worked in the restaurant industry was 4 years ago. right - its not like its that hard to pick up again). i then went to what i thought was my "modelling" interview. turns out it was for a position to sell automotive packages from midas to people. eww. so - im just waiting for my 4 interview. i already have doubts about wanting to take it. theres something about being able to work in a fun juice/coffe bar off the beach that just sounds plain appealling to me. but hey - gotta keep my options open.
same goes for the house hunting. i really havent found anything i love. turns out that most people who rent from house shares commonly share the bedrooms as well. this means its a house set up more like a hostel with 2-3 people per room... every place i went to so far is a complete pigsty - dirty dishes, dirty floor, things tossed everywhere. gross. id rather pay to stay in a hostel if thats a case. so the hunt for a room continues. i am determined. i know i will find one...
... now if only my bank account would work. they have officially frozen my account which means all i have access to is my credit cards and the minor $25 cash i have in my wallet. not exactly the best situation when i am looking at dropping a couple hundred in order to secure a room that i hopefully can find to stay in for the next few months. geez, louise. so now i need to call the bank... THAT should go over well....
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