just buy it

this car of mine will be the death of me. i swear it's cursed or something. ever since i have decided to go travelling and started trying to sell my car - well, it's caused nothing but problems. i have been on a mission to sell it since the start of june. it's been a month. a month tomorrow.

since my first day of posting it for sale i have had some interesting interactions with people who claim to be interested in the car. first there was the guy from africa. he came over here on a full-ride scholarship and is now an engineer. to me that means no student loans and big money. apparantly not as he wanted to pay less than half my asking price and then have a payment plan to top it off. i told him i'd be okay with it so long as he got the money to me by the end of the month. he backed off.... but not before he decided he had the perfect opportunity to ask me out. i told him i wasn't interested in seeing him again unless he was going to buy my car.

then there was the guy who calls me at 1 in the morning to inquire about the car. he is asking the questions on behalf of his friend who just arrived in canada and doesn't speak english. i call him back the next day. he doesn't have voicemail so it takes 3 calls to get through to him and not until 9pm that night. i ask when he wants to meet up to see the car. he tells me he'd like to meet later that night - at 10:30pm. sigh. i agree and pull up to a dark and deserted parking lot off Macleod Trail and wonder if ill even make it to see the light of day tomorrow. the 2 guys pull up and they go over the car. everything seems fine to them and they check it out. no test drive. as they're leaving they state they just want to check out what the insurance would cost them so they'll call me the following day. i agree and go to get into my car to drive home when they ask if i've had dinner yet. i don't know what planet they live on but i told them i had HOURS AGO and that i had big plans on going home to sleep. they drive off and i never hear from them again.

i don't know what part of trying to sell a car to go travelling gives guys the thumbs up to ask out the seller. who knows.

so i continue throughout the month, filling it with endless phone calls from people who appear seriously interested in the car, but never take the time to see it, test drive it, put in an offer or even give me the time of day to call back and tell me they've changed their minds. the garage sales provide an opportunity for people to give they're opinions. some are offended at my price saying that i won't get anything near it - while others are astounded that i wouldn't be wanting to sell it for more. none want it.

until yesterday. the last customers of the day at my garage sale come in and are immediately attracted to my black heap of metal. they check it out, test drive it and love it. one problem - they have to check to see if they can get the money for it. they are supposed to call me to day. i am skeptical. so i parked the car at the mall to hopefully attract more buyers.

back at home here by 7:30am after confidently choosing the prime parking space at the mall, i check my emails, eat breakfast and chill until i have to get to the bank. it was then i got a call - at 8:13am. the guy states he is calling about the car i have for sale. my heart starts to pump a little faster in antisipation that this could be the call i've been waiting for.

if only i could be so lucky. he informs me he is from the mall security and apparantly i am "not allowed" to park a car that's for sale in the mall parking lot. i have until 5pm to come pick it up or it will be towed. sigh.

i got today and tomorrow and then i am supposed to leave. damn this stupid car. maybe i should just leave the doors unlocked and cross my fingers that someone will just steal it. yeah right. as if i could be so fortunate.

Pack Trial #1

i feel as though the past few days have simply flown by. hell - i even forgot it was my birthday on friday - that was until my sister msged me, wishing me the best. haha. funny what happens when the brain is completely preoccupied. mine's been so incredibly focused on trying to get ready to go that i think im probably going crazy. it was today that i thought it'd be a good plan to try to fit everything in my pack just to see if i could.

first things first - i had to buy everything that i had left to get. so up bright and early at 6:30 a.m. i was making lists. lists for my clothes, the food, the first aid and safety-related items. lists for my hygiene products, camping gear and dishware. then there was the list for paperwork (can't forget my visa) and all the other things that didn't quite seem to fit in the previous categories. by 7:30 a.m. i had showered and was out the door to hit up superstore. then MEC (mountain equipment co-op). then there was the camera store. finally i stopped at best buy then canadian tire.

i finished it all. i got the oatmeal. the energy bars and backpacker's meals. i got powerdered milk, pita bread and trail mix. dried fruit and green tea (both cold and hot) were added to my cart. i made sure to throw in some hard candy before running my items through the till. $100 later i was off to the next place. i got some new water bottles, a pot and extra fuel. i got some rope (gotta make sure my food is up high and away from my tent and bears) and carabiners (great for attaching random dangling things to my bag). i made sure i had a waterproof flashlight, sunscreen, bugspray and surveyor's tape (i hear it works 100x better than bread crumbs). i brought it all back to my apartment and added it to my endless piles of supplies.

toothbrush and toothpast. deoderant (i figure i should still TRY to smell purdy). tweezers, hair ties and bandana. dental floss, bobby pins and nail clippers. toilet paper, multipurpose soap and q-tips. small camera, big camera, extra batteries and memory cards. my plug in converters, cards, wallet and ear plugs. passport, travel immunization book, phone book, survival book, around the world book (yes - im freakin packing my library here), journal and maps. a bowl, mug and utensils. a tent, mat, sleeping bag and fire starters (flint, waterproof matches and lighter). a survival kit complete with: whistle, mirror, duct tape, wire, cord, sewing needle, fishing line, fishing hook, pocket knife, sinker weights, compass, safety pins and aluminum foil. i personally added bear spray, a digital compass watch, flares (both bear bangers and original) and water purification drops. not to mention all my first aid gear that includes an elastic wrap bandage, anti-diarrhoea medication, immodium, laxatives, antihistamines, hydrocortisone cream, aspirin, re-hydration packets, bandaids and blister packs. tiger balm, gauze, petroleum jelly and sports tape. motion sickness pills, hand sanitizer, gloves, afterbite, wound closure strips, syringe and polysporin.

i pilled it all there. right in the middle of what is left of my living room. i felt a nice wave of self-satisfaction wash over me before i figured i should get on checking things off my list and deciding what i could afford to do about my clothes. i have plenty of clothes, but some things are more better for being out in the wild, day-after-day, walking up and down hills and going through some bush. some things are better for the different weather types i could expect and some things are simply more accommodating for the thought of me flying to australia after going through BC. so i made another list and added to it what i thought i might need for dry sacks. for those who don't know - dry sacks are a type of bag that can waterproof whatever gear/supplies a person puts inside. it is great for separating things (hate for food bags to break open and dump all over my clothes while im hiking along a trail) - but it's also awesome if i were to hit a rough rain storm and my pack leaked in some of the rain. or if i set my bag in a puddle (it's happened before) by mistake and it soaks though. anyway - i made off to MEC (2nd time today) to go and get my final list of things.

i got my remaining clothes and made it to the front of the line for the tills. turns out i get the same cashier i've had for the past 2 times ive been into MEC (i was there yesterday as well) - she laughed at seeing me again so i had to explain my complicated trip and how it's been difficult trying to get everything together for it. she rang me through and wished me the best in my travels and i left, crossing my fingers that that would be the last time i had to see her.

it was when i got home i started to run into some issues. first off - all the dry sacks i had gotten were the wrong size. they were WAY too big. i have no idea what was goin through my mind when i bought them, but i sighed at the thought that i would have to go BACK to MEC to return them. joy. then i also spent over 30 mins running through the apartment trying to find the bag to fit my sleeping bag in. when i finally found it it was full of my cookware and fuel. i haven't a clue what was going through my mind when i did that. sigh.

so back at MEC - 3rd time today - i exchanged my dry sacks, got the right ones and came home to do some serious packing. and serious packing it was. i hemmed and hawed and stuffed that pack with everythin i had in me. it took all my strength and brains to get everything inside. one problem. i couldn't fit the water bottles in the side mesh pockets. no biggie - i figure ill just attach to the sides. proud that i solved my minor problem, i sat down and relaxed. it was then i noticed somethin. i had forgotten to fit in my cookware an fuel. crap. my bag was already stuffed to the max. i pondered if that would mean that i would have to leave one of my cameras behind. but which one? i wanted both so bad. the big one is perfect for the great shots and the small one works wonders for capturing moments on the fly. i "need" both. maybe it was the food. i probably bought WAY too much - but then what would i give up? the backcountry meals? the energy bars? the powdered milk? all the original packaging was ruined on my food so there would be no way to return it.

i furrowed my brow in thought and then noticed something else. my library of books and papers that i needed to bring was also somehow outside my pack. so was my wallets. and my bandana, card game and electrical socket converters. crappy.

something will have to go. but what?





tomorrow.






8 days and counting.

Cutting Loose

today was my last day at work. granted, my last day of "work" was on friday, but today was the last day of which i said goobye to all my clients. it was really hard. hard to say goodbye - hard to know that i am leaving them - hard to know that i really don't have an idea of when i will be back. and yet at the same time it is so incredibly freeing.

in a couple of weeks i will say goodbye to everything i have known for the last 23 years of my life and start a journey that i have only ever dreamed about. goodbye to my family and friends. goodbye to my apartment and job. goodbye to my bed, my couch, my shower. goodbye to my cell phone and internet access. goodbye to my car. goodbye to everything that i own save for a few items that i will be lugging around on my back for months on end.

no more responsibilities and obligations. no more schedules or people telling me i have to be somewhere for a certain time. no more need to please society in getting the "right" job, the "right" car, the "right" haircut. i have finally had an opportunity to map out my route through BC and i find myself daydreaming every waking moment in thinking about what that journey is be like. me, my pack, the mountains. just getting to vancouver is going to be quite the adventure on it's own. being out in the wilderness. getting away from the city life to breathe in the fresh, pure air. just being one with nature -- or as "one" as a person can be that has all the "necessities" of wildlife travel strapped to their back, travelling along pre-walked paths mapped through the wild.

i can hardly even begin to comprehend how quickly everything is falling into place and how much i have left to do. i've got my $500 worth of vaccines jabbed in my arm. i've cancelled my phone, car insurance and sold nearly all my possessions. i've made lists upon lists of all the stuff i need to bring, and that of which i hope i can bring. i've bought my youth discount card (that of which i honestly can't remember if i actually paid for - the travel agent and i were yakking too much). i've put my car up for sale and had 2/3 of my garage sales. i'm coming down the home stretch and it still feels as though there is so much to do.

i am so tired. the bags under my eyes appear to grow daily as my body relaxes at the thought of not having to work anymore and yet stresses under the new goals of preparing to leave for my journey. my nights are restless as i toss and turn, hoping i am not forgetting anything and sorting through my mixed emotions of excitement, sadness and fear. i have 2 weeks until i will no longer have a place to live and i only cross my fingers that i will be as ready as possible for that date. 2 weeks - the countdown continues.


** NOTE: I HAVE RECENTLY CHANGED MY BLOG ADDRESS TO http://shalanehopkins.blogspot.com/ -- AS SUCH - EVERYONE WHO WAS SUBSCRIBED TO MY FORMER BLOG WILL NO LONGER BE UPDATED WITH MY ENTRIES. PLEASE RE-SUBSCRIBE TO THE RIGHT OF THIS ENTRY IN ORDER TO RECEIVE MY UPDATES VIA EMAIL **

The End is Just the Beginning

as i sit here on my couch in my living room that now is simply compiled of piles of things that have no place to go, i find it hard to believe that the next chapter of my life is about to begin. today was my last day at work. well - kind of. monday will be that of the final goodbyes - but today was my last day of "work." it feels surreal really. so many mixed feelings - i am so incredibly torn up inside at the thought that i am actually going to have to leave for good and yet at the same time i am so thrilled at the prospect of what the next chapter of my life will bring.

i don't even know where to begin. i feel as though my list of things to do is endless and keeps growing every minute i sit to think of all i have left to do in preparation of my leave. it's all the little things and all the big things and my mind spins at the mere thought of what i have to do. part of me continues to feel responsible for easing the worries everyone i care for has for me in completing this adventure. many that i know simply do not understand or comprehend what i am about to do. the thing is - no matter what i do - there will always be something for people to worry about. there will always be a part of me that is completely scared at the adventure i am embarking on, but i can't let my fear stop me. if i were to let fear stop me everytime i took a risk in life, i would never get anywhere. i would always be living a life of mediocrity - something of which i know within the deepest depths of my soul is not for me.

so back to now. the lists. the planning. the piles of "stuff" i have that is overtaking my apartment as i have nowhere to store it due to me selling all i own. it's all left me tired with the restless nights of tossing and turning in my bed afraid i've forgotten something and excited that the next day brings me that much closer to my goal.

the one question i keep getting asked is when i am going. i don't particularly know. that is the brilliant part of my goal. my dream. the whole point is to have nothing i "have" to do. i don't want a "schedule." i don't want something that has a time limit on it. when to start. when to end. i don't want any part of it. i got my lists. when the lists are done - then i will go. maybe that's tomorrow. maybe that's next week. maybe i won't be able to go until the end of july. i don't particularly know. i am aiming for beginning of july. joy

i could babble on forever, but the truth of the matter is - there isn't enough time in the world. so i will leave it as this. this is my blog. my blog of life. my blog of traveling. for those who are interesting in keeping tabs on my journey, you are able to subscribe to my blog as indicated on the right. that way anytime i add another entry to my blog it will be automatically forwarded to your email address. outside of this you will also find that i have a map created to show my journey as it progressess around the globe. finally, for those who are interested in keeping in touch, you may comment to any of my blog entries as per the bottom of the entries or email me at: shalane.hopkins@hotmail.com

thanks for your support and i can't wait to continue to share my journey with you....

So. Tired.

i can't believe how incredibly exhausting it is to get ready for the trip i am about to embark upon. just a few mere weeks ago i had no idea that this was even goin to be my decision at this point in my life and yet here i am - every waking moment spending it in some form of preparation for my world-wide adventure. my list of things to do is emense and it never seems to get shorter. i find it incredible how much money a person is told they "need" to fork over in order to ensure they have everything covered for when they go on their journey. i mean, between the travel insurance and pocket knives, hiking boots and rainwear, the youth discount card and a million shots of vaccine forced into my arms to the point where i feel as though i can only now be described as a pin cushion -- i could easily spend all my saved money just getting caught up in the "just in case" items that continuously appear on my never-ending list.

to top it all off - i find it so surprising as to how many comments i get that indicate that everyone appears to think of me as "crazy" for embarking on such a feat. i don't get it - and maybe i never will as this is something that i've dreamed of doing for as long as i can remember. to travel the world, meet new people, experience a different culture and become a part of a life-long adventure that may never end. the possibilities are endless (yes, both good and bad) and it is something i know will change me forever. i will never be able to come back - i will never be the same again. to me it only seems natural to want to do that. but then again, so did skydiving. and scuba diving. and backpacking alone in the mountains.

there are people out there that do understand my drive to do this and they can fully appreciate what it is that i am trying to do. maybe they've done it before. maybe they know of others who have. or maybe they have the dream themselves, but have never had the opportunity to fulfill it yet.

then there are those who admire my dream in awe. they describe me as being "brave" or make statements such as, "i could never do something like that." they try to understand, but life's responsibilities and tragic events holds them back. what if they were to lose their job. what if they got attacked by a wild animal. what if they got lost in a foreign country with a language barrier so large they can't find their way home. what if something horrible happens that would change them forever.

finally, there are the people that simply just tell me i am crazy for planning such a trip. why would a "woman" want to travel alone. why not "settle down." why don't i at least wait until i have a boyfriend around to "protect me." these types of people try to scare me away from fulfilling my dream by contriving up every possible situation of something bad that could happen to me. you name it and this group of people automatically thinks that i will encounter that issue.

the thing that people forget is that life in itself is an adventure, it is simply how you choose to live it. one can live it hiding in the shadows, preparing for every worst case scenario without ever seeing the light - as the truth is - bad stuff happens to those who stay at home as well. or you can take the bull by the horns and run after life with everything you got. im not saying traveling is it for everyone - but everyone does have a dream. and whats the point of our dreams if we are not putting everythin we got into fulfilling them?