The End is Just the Beginning

as i sit here on my couch in my living room that now is simply compiled of piles of things that have no place to go, i find it hard to believe that the next chapter of my life is about to begin. today was my last day at work. well - kind of. monday will be that of the final goodbyes - but today was my last day of "work." it feels surreal really. so many mixed feelings - i am so incredibly torn up inside at the thought that i am actually going to have to leave for good and yet at the same time i am so thrilled at the prospect of what the next chapter of my life will bring.

i don't even know where to begin. i feel as though my list of things to do is endless and keeps growing every minute i sit to think of all i have left to do in preparation of my leave. it's all the little things and all the big things and my mind spins at the mere thought of what i have to do. part of me continues to feel responsible for easing the worries everyone i care for has for me in completing this adventure. many that i know simply do not understand or comprehend what i am about to do. the thing is - no matter what i do - there will always be something for people to worry about. there will always be a part of me that is completely scared at the adventure i am embarking on, but i can't let my fear stop me. if i were to let fear stop me everytime i took a risk in life, i would never get anywhere. i would always be living a life of mediocrity - something of which i know within the deepest depths of my soul is not for me.

so back to now. the lists. the planning. the piles of "stuff" i have that is overtaking my apartment as i have nowhere to store it due to me selling all i own. it's all left me tired with the restless nights of tossing and turning in my bed afraid i've forgotten something and excited that the next day brings me that much closer to my goal.

the one question i keep getting asked is when i am going. i don't particularly know. that is the brilliant part of my goal. my dream. the whole point is to have nothing i "have" to do. i don't want a "schedule." i don't want something that has a time limit on it. when to start. when to end. i don't want any part of it. i got my lists. when the lists are done - then i will go. maybe that's tomorrow. maybe that's next week. maybe i won't be able to go until the end of july. i don't particularly know. i am aiming for beginning of july. joy

i could babble on forever, but the truth of the matter is - there isn't enough time in the world. so i will leave it as this. this is my blog. my blog of life. my blog of traveling. for those who are interesting in keeping tabs on my journey, you are able to subscribe to my blog as indicated on the right. that way anytime i add another entry to my blog it will be automatically forwarded to your email address. outside of this you will also find that i have a map created to show my journey as it progressess around the globe. finally, for those who are interested in keeping in touch, you may comment to any of my blog entries as per the bottom of the entries or email me at: shalane.hopkins@hotmail.com

thanks for your support and i can't wait to continue to share my journey with you....