So. Tired.

i can't believe how incredibly exhausting it is to get ready for the trip i am about to embark upon. just a few mere weeks ago i had no idea that this was even goin to be my decision at this point in my life and yet here i am - every waking moment spending it in some form of preparation for my world-wide adventure. my list of things to do is emense and it never seems to get shorter. i find it incredible how much money a person is told they "need" to fork over in order to ensure they have everything covered for when they go on their journey. i mean, between the travel insurance and pocket knives, hiking boots and rainwear, the youth discount card and a million shots of vaccine forced into my arms to the point where i feel as though i can only now be described as a pin cushion -- i could easily spend all my saved money just getting caught up in the "just in case" items that continuously appear on my never-ending list.

to top it all off - i find it so surprising as to how many comments i get that indicate that everyone appears to think of me as "crazy" for embarking on such a feat. i don't get it - and maybe i never will as this is something that i've dreamed of doing for as long as i can remember. to travel the world, meet new people, experience a different culture and become a part of a life-long adventure that may never end. the possibilities are endless (yes, both good and bad) and it is something i know will change me forever. i will never be able to come back - i will never be the same again. to me it only seems natural to want to do that. but then again, so did skydiving. and scuba diving. and backpacking alone in the mountains.

there are people out there that do understand my drive to do this and they can fully appreciate what it is that i am trying to do. maybe they've done it before. maybe they know of others who have. or maybe they have the dream themselves, but have never had the opportunity to fulfill it yet.

then there are those who admire my dream in awe. they describe me as being "brave" or make statements such as, "i could never do something like that." they try to understand, but life's responsibilities and tragic events holds them back. what if they were to lose their job. what if they got attacked by a wild animal. what if they got lost in a foreign country with a language barrier so large they can't find their way home. what if something horrible happens that would change them forever.

finally, there are the people that simply just tell me i am crazy for planning such a trip. why would a "woman" want to travel alone. why not "settle down." why don't i at least wait until i have a boyfriend around to "protect me." these types of people try to scare me away from fulfilling my dream by contriving up every possible situation of something bad that could happen to me. you name it and this group of people automatically thinks that i will encounter that issue.

the thing that people forget is that life in itself is an adventure, it is simply how you choose to live it. one can live it hiding in the shadows, preparing for every worst case scenario without ever seeing the light - as the truth is - bad stuff happens to those who stay at home as well. or you can take the bull by the horns and run after life with everything you got. im not saying traveling is it for everyone - but everyone does have a dream. and whats the point of our dreams if we are not putting everythin we got into fulfilling them?