This and That

so it's been decided. it's official. i will be leaving in july to go on the adventure i have been planning for years now. it's about time. i am so ready to leave everything behind and go discover what else there is out there for me.

work has definitely been a big part of my decision - too much crap to deal with and i am tired of it. i am just plain exhausted of coming into work and not knowing what to expect. of having to deal more with staff and management situations than the actual clients themselves. but that's not just why i am leaving. this is not me running away. this is me running towards the life i have always dreamed of and have been simply waiting for the opportunity to come my way.

well - here's the opportunity and im going to grab a hold of it and never let go. nothing can stop me. i won't let it.

i am so excited to see where my travels will take me. who knows - i mean, i have a general idea of where id like to go and what id like to do - but something like this is better not planned. it leaves me open to the possibility of anything.

all that said - its still a little more than a month before i get to go. i mean, hell - i still have to hand in my letter of resignation at work. that should be interesting. between that and doing a garage sale to sell my stuff and having my birthday party as a way of saying goodbye to everyone - it's going to keep me busy.

on another note: if there's one thing that i've learned in these past couple weeks - its that the world is filled with people that are content to just blindly make their way through life without ever trying to understand where they've been and what they've done and how they can move forward and challenge themselves to be better people.

i mean - fine, if your one of those people that just kinda float through life and that's cool with you - whatever. i can't judge. where i have an issue with it is when you're that type of person, but what you do is not just float - you also railroad through your experiences, damaging your relationships along the way and not ever stoping to think that maybe you had something to do with it. THAT - is where i have a huge problem. i find it so irritating that there are people out there that are so incredibly self-centered but completely unaware and in denial that they are. things are never their fault. people around them are never good enough for them. they are always the victim in every damn situation. and on top of everything else they have to be in absolute control of everything going on. they can not just sit back and let things be - they have to be the leader. they have to be the person with the ideas. they have to be the one that everyone goes to. they are in the right. they ALWAYS have everything figured out - they know it all. they have learned all they have to and figure that its everyone else that has to catch up to them.

well let me tell you something. LIFE IS NOT LIKE THAT. life is a journey in which we are all constantly learning and making mistakes and changing and growing and moving forward. sometimes life is awesome and sometimes it completely sucks. but it is how we deal with life in order to keep on trucking that counts.

the worst part about people like you is that you THINK that you come from the perspective that i am writing about. you THINK that it is people other than you that i am talking about. let me be the one to tell you that it is YOU i am talking about. if you can't remember the last time you genuinely apologized for something you did in a relationship to hurt the other person - then it is you i am talking about. if you can't remember the last time you reached out to legitamately have someone help you with a problem - then it is YOU i am talking about. if you feel as though you have all the answers to life's greatest mysteries and everyone else is wrong - it is you. if you find it frustrating that no one can ever see things your way - then it is you. if you feel as though life keeps throwing shit your way and you can't just deal with it and move on - it is you. if people are disgusted with the way you treat them, yet you feel as though you are the victim and can't see it their way - i am talking about YOU.

even say this - i know that those of you i am talking about still won't get it. that's okay. all i can focus on is bettering myself and setting boundaries so that you don't become the disease that is eating me alive. i've been there and done that and i am tired of it. no more.




no more.



i am done and i am moving on.