Sitting at a Crossroads

i find it incredibly fascinating how life persists in being so ever-changing. there is never a moment in time in which i can truely say i know where my life is going as there is always something new to explore, learn and pursue around the next corner. i love it. for the most part.

up until the last week, i made the mistake of thinking i had things figured out. i have a stable job. i have awesome friends and family. i have the ability and opportunity to explore my hobby of art and i have been loving every minute of it. especially since i've been able to continue doing everything i want to, all the while saving for my ultimate goal of going travelling for a year - starting january 2010.

the thing is, everything virtually hit the fan this past week. okay - not EVERYTHING, but pretty much all that has been continuing to keep me sticking around and not leaving for my travel adventure's early. simply put - something happened at work (that of which i can not write about right at this point) that i completely do not agree with. it goes against everythin that i stand for and believe in when it comes to working in a healthy environment. as such, this particular event has led me to re-evaluate my position of working where i am. i am left with a rather difficult choice.

do i look for a different job that will allow me less stress, but continue to give me the ability to stay on track with my travel savings account? sounds reasonable. sounds logical. sounds easy enough. but then there's option number 2. i could use this as an opportunity to leave earlier. get a workin visa and hop on that jet plane to wherever my heart desires and see where life takes me from there. i mean, why not? it's easy enough to sublet an apartment, sell all that i don't need and get my butt to the airport. a working visa would allow me the ability to continue to save until i can break free and just go. or maybe i'll just go and see how long i can make my funds last.

now how can a person choose? the reliable, responsible side of me wants to choose option 1 as it makes the most logical sense. but then the adventureous side of me is screaming that it wants to GO. life doesnt wait around for people to be ready for opportunities - it simply presents them at the time you least expect it --- and those are the life-changing, forever altering opportunities that completely challenge you to become the person you've always wanted to be.

so i guess the questions here on in lies in who it is that i want to be. do i want to be the forever responsible person that is constantly doing the "right" thing and taking risks only when they make the most sense - or do i want to be the person that everyone always hopes that one day they can be. the person that goes on a life-altering adventure and comes out of it with a book deal that will inspire people as they read of my life in the comforts of their own home.

i could so very easily be either of those people at this point. the bottom line is - a choice has to be made. do i go left or right? do i stay or go? do i take a risk or stay where it is comfortable and uncomplicated?

..... soon i will know.