today was my last day at work. granted, my last day of "work" was on friday, but today was the last day of which i said goobye to all my clients. it was really hard. hard to say goodbye - hard to know that i am leaving them - hard to know that i really don't have an idea of when i will be back. and yet at the same time it is so incredibly freeing.
in a couple of weeks i will say goodbye to everything i have known for the last 23 years of my life and start a journey that i have only ever dreamed about. goodbye to my family and friends. goodbye to my apartment and job. goodbye to my bed, my couch, my shower. goodbye to my cell phone and internet access. goodbye to my car. goodbye to everything that i own save for a few items that i will be lugging around on my back for months on end.
no more responsibilities and obligations. no more schedules or people telling me i have to be somewhere for a certain time. no more need to please society in getting the "right" job, the "right" car, the "right" haircut. i have finally had an opportunity to map out my route through BC and i find myself daydreaming every waking moment in thinking about what that journey is be like. me, my pack, the mountains. just getting to vancouver is going to be quite the adventure on it's own. being out in the wilderness. getting away from the city life to breathe in the fresh, pure air. just being one with nature -- or as "one" as a person can be that has all the "necessities" of wildlife travel strapped to their back, travelling along pre-walked paths mapped through the wild.
i can hardly even begin to comprehend how quickly everything is falling into place and how much i have left to do. i've got my $500 worth of vaccines jabbed in my arm. i've cancelled my phone, car insurance and sold nearly all my possessions. i've made lists upon lists of all the stuff i need to bring, and that of which i hope i can bring. i've bought my youth discount card (that of which i honestly can't remember if i actually paid for - the travel agent and i were yakking too much). i've put my car up for sale and had 2/3 of my garage sales. i'm coming down the home stretch and it still feels as though there is so much to do.
i am so tired. the bags under my eyes appear to grow daily as my body relaxes at the thought of not having to work anymore and yet stresses under the new goals of preparing to leave for my journey. my nights are restless as i toss and turn, hoping i am not forgetting anything and sorting through my mixed emotions of excitement, sadness and fear. i have 2 weeks until i will no longer have a place to live and i only cross my fingers that i will be as ready as possible for that date. 2 weeks - the countdown continues.
** NOTE: I HAVE RECENTLY CHANGED MY BLOG ADDRESS TO http://shalanehopkins.blogspot.com/ -- AS SUCH - EVERYONE WHO WAS SUBSCRIBED TO MY FORMER BLOG WILL NO LONGER BE UPDATED WITH MY ENTRIES. PLEASE RE-SUBSCRIBE TO THE RIGHT OF THIS ENTRY IN ORDER TO RECEIVE MY UPDATES VIA EMAIL **
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