Life is full of setbacks. Success is determined by how you handle setbacks.
~ Lululemon
Travel can be tough. Behind all the photos of glorious sunsets, exotic stories of lands from afar, relationships with an united nations of people and adventures jumping out of planes, riding elephants and lazing on white, sandy beaches – it can be difficult. It can be hard making the adjustment into a country that is foreign. It can be challenging trying to balance life between what was left behind and what is happening now in the moment. It can be incredibly complex to not get so lost in the moment of what is going on that everything that once was is lost forever.
Talking with Sam (USA), who is another backpacker at the Family Trust Camp here, the other night, reminded me of the fine line us travelers walk when being away from our homes for a long period of time. There comes a point that all of us reach in which we have to assess just how important our relationships are from back at home. The family we left behind. The friends we said goodbye to. The significant other or potential love our hearts are with.
There comes a point when each and every one of us realizes that we cannot keep up our lives from back at home without completely sacrificing our new lives travelling. Because that is just it. Travelling long term is not as simple as a holiday. It is not a vacation of which you go away for a few weeks to “relax” and “get away” from it all – only to come back refreshed and renewed. Long term travel is a complete life-changing experience. Jobs are quit. Things are put in storage. One-way tickets are bought. We do not know when (or if) we will be back. We set out in search of adventure. In search for a new experience. In search of that perfect wave, mountain, lifestyle, country, something. In search for love. In search for ourselves.
And in doing all of this – there comes a point of which we have to let go of the life we left behind. The only other option is to return home.
Everyone I know has come to this point with regards to long-term travelling. Some have only remembered it as a brief moment in time, where as other struggle to process what they should do for days, weeks or even months. Some call it “loneliness.” Others call it “homesickness.” Whatever it may be, it happens to the best of us and those who reach the other side of it all become more open to the experiences all around them. Life seems fresh – new, even.
This is the point that Sam is at – or at least in the process of letting go of her life back at home. It doesn’t mean that she forgets everyone she left behind or that she doesn’t care. It just means that she is making herself more open to the travel adventures in store for her here. The life she can have here. The friends she’ll make here. The memories that she’ll have forever.
For myself – my setback in the travel world hasn’t been so much of an external force causing conflict in my life. It’s been myself. My mind. My body. Myself.
21.04.2011
Today I was just reminded of what I am aiming to do with my life. For the past few days I have felt as though everything has been a massive blur of going-ons, most of which has just taken me for a ride so fast that I have just now started to catch my breath. And so here I am.
The truth of the matter is that for the past week I’ve let myself slide in the health and fitness department. I’ve been skipping runs – telling myself that it’s too cold outside or that I’m tired or that I’ll do it later. I’ve also been eating way more than I need to, not all of it being healthy food either – again lying to myself that “it’s okay” and that I’ll burn it all off in the runs that I’m not doing. The thing is – I’m really good to lying to myself when it comes to my health and fitness and the stupid bit is that that is one of the few things in life that I have complete control over.
As much as I tell myself that I’m okay with how I look and what I eat and how I live my life, the reality of it all is that I’m not. That’s why I did all that soul-searching on Te Araroa Trail. I finished it knowing that I needed to change my lifestyle if I wanted to reach my goals. It was easy at first, but I know I’ve let myself slide. And that’s not okay with me.
I’ve let myself slide this last week, but here it ends. Right now – because I don’t want to lose everything I gained by doing Te Araroa Trail. I don’t want it all to be for nothing.
And so – back on track I went. And then I slipped off again. On-again, off-again I have been this week. One day waking at the crack of dawn to blast through the forest trails here in a kick-ass hour run that leaves me on a high that I never want to come off of – and then the next day I can barely roll out of bed to face the crisp morning air. I’d rather sleep all day and eat chocolate. Some days I’ve been amazing at keeping hydrated with water and other days it’s all I can do not to forget my water bottle.
I refuse to be that person that wishes that they could do something. I will do it. I refuse to have regrets in my life. The past is what makes me who I am today. I refuse to give up. Every day I start fresh. I refuse to limit myself to what I “should” do in life. Anything is possible and life is what you make it. I refuse to be anything less than what I know in my heart of hearts I can be. And so here I am.
27.04.2011
It’s difficult to know where to begin today. My mind feels so full of thoughts – so full of life. Everything is going on and as great as it is, I get the feeling that I’m holding my breath. Holding my breath for it all to fall apart – for me to lose my grasp on everything that I’ve worked for. I suppose I should quit all the worrying and just enjoy the ride that life has given me.
It’s crazy really. Being here in Hanmer Springs. I really do feel like finishing Te Araroa Trail has not just opened up new doors to possibilities I’ve always dreamed of – finishing Te Araroa Trail has meant a fresh start – truly a new beginning in life.
And so here I am – working hard to train for a half marathon. Trying to figure out what to write for my next article with Green Joyment. And life is good. Brilliant, really. I’m completely stoked for what’s to come next.
I have let myself slide – it may not be noticeable to other people – but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I know what I can do and who I can be and I won’t settle for less. Half marathons don’t run themselves on their own. A healthy body and mind doesn’t happen overnight. Being at peace with myself doesn’t come without a little effort on my part. And so here I am – ready to give it my all.
I know I have changed from the person I once was when I left home nearly two years ago. I have grown stronger in who I am. I have become more of the person I want to be. Maybe it would have happened regardless of where I was in the world, but I owe a lot of it to the fact that I have been travelling. I don’t know where I would be if I had given into the internal struggle of how to separate myself from the life that was and live in the life that is – maybe I would be in the same place, but I don’t think so.
Travelling can be hard. It’s not all hammocks and good times. But it sure is one hell of a ride.
0 comments:
Post a Comment