"nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."

title quote by: maria robinson

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i started today with the utmost feeling that my life is headed into a new direction. only i don't know where it is that i should be going. the "plan" - as it stands - is still to stay at work untill i gain enough financial stability to move from my lengthy post here in sydney.

but where to go from that - i haven't a clue.

and yet, i have sat here for almost 2 hours, aimlessly searching the internet, as though that would bring me the answers to the questions i have yet to ask. all i know is that i feel as though something is going to happen in my life. something is supposed to happen. i just don't know what it is. i do not know if this "something" should be sought out, or if it will come to me. maybe it will be one of those revelations i will get late in the night and cause me to pack my things and move out to my next big adventure.

maybe not.

i do not know. but with this new year having come - i sense that this is the year of change. the year of life-altering events. the year of which things will fall apart with a blink of an eye and then fall together just as quickly. i feel a lot of things, but most of all - at this moment - i feel as though today is the day to make my new ending. i just haven't a clue what that should be.

maybe this is all just a restlessness i feel deep inside, knowing that i am nearing my end in sydney... i am anxious to see the rest of australia. i am anxious to uproot again and go explore. but where i will go - even within australia - i do not have a clear idea. i do not know if it will be a solo adventure or one as part of a group. i do not even know if australia will be where i will stay.

so many unknowns.

what i DO know is that i want my life to have meaning. i do not wish to float through my days without a purpose in mind. i want to continue to strive after my dreams - even if they do happen to change every other millisecond. i want to be able to look back over my life and know that i did more than what i ever thought i did. that i helped people. that i made a difference in the world. that i inspired someone - even if that someone was simply myself.

but when it comes to the questions of how i do that. where i do it and what i go about doing.... i haven't a clue. not even an inclination on where to go from here.

"the key to change is to let go of fear."

~ Rosanne Cash ~